How have you met your partners?

[Sam W]

When people talk about dating, or even finding partners for more casual encounters, we often have one or two images in our head of the "normal" ways or places to meet people. But the truth is, we meet partners in all sorts of places, so this is a space to talk about the different ways people meet.

I met mine through mutual friends. The one before him asked me out, and was a classmate. What about y'all?

[Ruby S]

Hey Sam! I actually met my partner on Tinder, before they decided to shut down the underage portion of the app. I'd had the app for about 6 months, and he'd only had it for a few days! Lucky him! Most of my previous relationships before that had come from school interactions. I live in a pretty small place, so the pool of young people to interact with isn't too big and at times that was frustrating. My partner now is the first person I've dated who I didn't grow up with! It's really refreshing and helpful to see how his experiences differ from mine.

[Mo]

When I first started dating, I mostly met partners at school or through extracurricular activities. Since then, a few partners have been long-term friends who were interested in transitioning to a dating relationship. One was someone a friend set me up with (we dated for a few months but figured out we worked best as platonic friend), and another was someone I met online and started a dating relationship with once we met in person and realized we had a lot of chemistry.
I've found that I tend to be most comfortable dating someone I already know and am friends with; that's not always the case but most of my best relationships have happened that way.

[bikinksterboy]

to be perfectly honest, I met my partner on a QUILTBAGPIPE (Queer or Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Transgender, Bisexual, Asexual, Gay, Pansexual, Intersex..again, Polysexual or polyamorous, Everyone) friendly Minecraft server and immediately began getting to know him on a kik group chat with our friends.

[Kaizen]

"First love" (best way I can think of to refer to him; we discussed dating but never officially did) was my lab partner in Chem class in high school. We started talking outside of class when he asked me for homework help.

First boyfriend was introduced to me by a friend we had in common. He lived about an hour away; we texted for a week, then he came to see me and asked me out.

Next (current) boyfriend was in a class with me at college. He got a crush on me, got to know me on a class research trip and decided he really liked me, and asked me out a couple of weeks later.

[Alice O]

Really interesting to think about this! Most of my past partners I have met through school--through a shared class, mutual friends, or living in the same dorm in college. But now that I am not in school anymore, I have been thinking about what other ways I can connect with people.

For the most part, I prefer to begin dating or become sexually involved with someone after being friends. But more recently I have realized what matters most to me is having shared social space with them--a class, a game night, a protest, potentially a party. So for right now, online dating apps aren't a great fit for me (since it's often meeting up with new people one-on-one)--but who knows, that might change in the future!

[andreus19]

When people talk about dating, or even finding partners for more casual encounters, we often have one or two images in our head of the "normal" ways or places to meet people. But the truth is, we meet partners in all sorts of places, so this is a space to talk about the different ways people meet.

I met mine through mutual friends. The one before him asked me out, and was a classmate. What about y'all?

Huh, in my case, various places, from school, clubs to dating sites and apps...

[TheConfusedOne]

I met my hubby on an online browser game. It was not love at first meet, infact I was a bit scared of him at first! He was an older player (as in, been playing on that game for years and years, I was newer to the game) and was quite infamous. Everytime someone talked about him, they had strong feelings, either he was a great teamplayer, or he was an arsehole. It was basically one of those players you keep hearing about but never meet... and when you do, you're just so awed that you either wanna kiss their boots or stay faaaar away and only communicate on a basic level of grunts and short answers!

And that was pretty much how he first talked to me, short answers that only increased my feelings of intimidation! He of course later explained that he didn't really have time to play back then and just wanted to answer my groupie like questions lol! Then a few months later, a war started in that game and somehow, we ended up on the same team. Yet, we STILL didn't really talk to each other. The war started calming down into a stalemate and one night, he was online while everyone else was asleep. I was in Malaysia, on the other end of the world, so it was day for me. And he said hello... I'm grinning at this memory right now! Chat moved to skype and skype moved to his flight from America all the way to Malaysia!

My parents were shocked to see a giant American coming towards us that first face-to-face date! He is a full 6'4" muscular guy while I'm a petite little 5'1", so it was quite an impression! They had expected an equally short Asian guy! I was just downright shy hehe. It's been 5 years since then and I am now in America as his wife. Good times!

[Siân]

I met my first boyfriend in school, and my second was on the same course as my flatmate in university.

Since leaving education and moving into the workplace I've had to be a bit more intentional about meeting new people (not just for dating!). I've done some Tinder/online dating which has mostly been positive, although I have to make sure to check in with myself that it's fun and rewarding more often. I've also met friends/partners at gigs, at the climbing wall, friend's parties, on the train..!

[Jacob]

I think before online dating and leaving home I really struggled to date anyone! Especially within my existing circles... Plus I had lots of web flirtations on chat rooms!

Then when I went to university, I met a couple of friends-of-friends in the years that followed, and since then it's all been people i've either met online, through dating sites, or knew of, and the dating sites/apps were a space to open up and know more before doing a bunch of cafe dates.

I guess I'm a real internet kid!

[Arasia]

When I moved to my cousin's state, he introduced me to all his friends, and they quickly became my friends as well. One of them was a guy he went to high school with--he invited this guy, along with other friends, over to my apartment to celebrate Halloween. We were all watching cartoons together and one of the characters made a comment about diarrhea. I started laughing because bathroom humor gets me every time. The guy then told a poop joke, and I laughed so hard I puked. I was mortified!
Still, from that day on, the guy and I started becoming friends. He was interested in me way before I was interested in him (Apparently the first-impression barf didn't put him off haha), and I actually rejected him at first. He, being the awesome person he is, accepted that and we continued to be great friends. It wasn't until a year later that I realized I had really grown to like him.
We've been in a relationship for a year and a half now, and we still enjoy telling the story of how he made me vomit the first time we met!

[MaryConn]

"First love" (best way I can think of to refer to him; we discussed dating but never officially did) was my lab partner in Chem class in high school. We started talking outside of class when he asked me for homework help
Next (current) boyfriend was in a class with me at college. He got a crush on me, got to know me on a class research trip and decided he really liked me, and asked me out a couple of weeks later. do my essay

Nice pickup trick, to ask for homework help lol

[Siân]

@MaryConn

Y'know I wouldn't call it a "trick" - that makes it seem like some kind of deception is involved, or like you're making someone do something they otherwise wouldn't. Finding a good reason to spend a bit more time with someone and figure out if you like eachother is a great idea!

[bikinksterboy]

btw my partner is a woman now and goes by she/her