Scared

[Jakeh34]

I recently wrote about how i gave and received my first blow job and since i have become very anxious about my health i have sent of my hiv blood samples and a urine sample to test for chlamydia. I am so scared incase they come back positive is this normal to feel this way? Thanks

[Jacob]

Hi Jakeh!

Welcome back. Good job on getting yourself tested! It's great that you've organised testing for yourself.

I'd say that yeah, fear and anxiety about having a positive result on an STI test is pretty common. However that's mostly because there is such negative stigma attached to STIs and we're in a society that doesn't talk about these things in a very healthy way.

We don't (and shouldn't!) shame people for catching food poisoning, or breaking a limb or having a long-term illnesses of other sorts. And STIs are just like that. Health issues which can enter our lives and we seek treatment to sort them out... just like everything else.

I think getting tested is a really good thing. So I would focus on how good it is you are taking ownership of that.

Mind you it can be hard to do that.

Do you have any local support you can turn to when you get the results?

[Jakeh34]

Glad its normal to feel this was I totally agree and recently started talking to friends about it and some have been tested and other havent and dont want to! I had the chlamydia one come back all clear was so happy just waiting for the hiv on now hopefully hear from them today but now panic started to kick in case they found something! Just want the all clear!!!

[Jacob]

Have you come accross 'Out of the Can' before? http://outofthecan.org/.

I'm just looking at their website. It says they are for ages 13 - 19 but it might still be worth contacting them for any information about where you can get connected with local groups. It can be helpful to be connected with local stuff when you are going through new things.

[Jakeh34]

Thanks im quite a worrier and suffer anxiety so i dont think thats helped! But im sure it will all settle down if i got the all clear!

[Alice O]

Hey Jakeh34,

I wanted to check in about your anxiety: are you getting any support with that, such as counseling? As Jacob mentioned, it's totally normal to have bouts of fear and nervousness when a stressful thing comes up in our lives, but it sounds like anxiety is something you struggle with more broadly.

In addition to outside support, it's really important to take good care of ourselves when we're dealing with anxiety. Have you seen Scarleteen's self-care list? Self-Care a La Carte. It has A TON of ideas for things you can do to help take care of your mind/heart/body/spirit. Do you see anything on that list that you already like to do, or that you would like to try?

[Jakeh34]

I have been to many counseling programs and i take medication so i would like to think its under control but of course we all have things in life that bring up these feelings again! I had it first in year 11 no clear triggers but didnt go to school for my final year and then was fine for two year and then final year at college i had it again and havent came off medication since this time is was depression as well as anxiety i will certainly look at the link thank you

[Alice O]

Gotcha! Glad to hear you are utilizing counseling and medications as you navigate anxiety and depression coming and going in your life. I think that self-care list is a great tool to have in addition to counseling and medications, so glad to hear you plan to check it out!