Is the word “straight” heteronormative?

[thewrit3r]

I was talking with my family the other day about sexual orientations and mentioned someone being straight but they said that straight is offensive because it implies it’s the “right” sexual orientation because it’s called straight. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I can see where they’re coming from, but it was never something I thought about before. What do you all think?

[Heather]

Offensive to whom? I'm just curious.

One tricky bit with this is probably going to be sorting out if "straight" was used first as slang for heterosexuality, or "bent" came first as slang for queerdom. I'm fairly certain it's the latter, but one'd have to do a little digging to find out, and I imagine in this discussion it matters.

But again, I also would have to know to whom it is supposed to be offensive to in the first place.

[thewrit3r]

If it was offensive to the queer community. I wasn’t sure if calling someone heterosexual straight says that it’s the “right” way to be, like there’s only one direction for a sexual orientation to go. But I could be wrong. I’m heterosexual so I didnt want to make any assumptions.

[Heather]

Well, aside of saying I haven't personally ever heard someone else queer take issue with it and that I personally don't find it offensive (I never even thought about it, to be honest, but also as a word-geek, I don't consider "straight" and "right" to be synonyms, so), I'm not sure what to say here.

Was it your queer family saying they found it offensive? If they're not queer either, I personally think the best answer to any kind of comment that X term is offensive to a group of people according to people who are not members of that group is to say that what is definitely usually offensive is people repping for a group they aren't members of. (I would usually say it more delicately than that, mind.) I'd say that allies, as it were, usually are most helpful listening and responding to the direct asks of people they say they want to support.

[thewrit3r]

Thanks for the rrrsponse. And to my knowledge, no one in my family is queer. It was simmering in my mind but I agree that I should listen to the queer community tell me that it’s offensive instead of assuming.

[Heather]

I really said that last bit more about your family than you, to be honest, but for sure, it's a good rule of thumb for any of us who aren't members of any given group to pay attention to what those of that group say and ask for when we're trying to find out what's wanted.

Obviously any one person can't represent a given group, but if you want the opinion of just one queer person, I don't find this offensive. But I also tend to be pretty relaxed with terms and language, so I have no clue if I'm unusual in that feeling or not, save that I've never heard anyone bring it up.