Not achieving orgasm?

[Limes]

Lately it seems like I cannot orgasm from any kind of stimulation if something is inside my vagina. I've never been able to have a penetrative orgasm, but lately its become absolutely impossible to achieve it if something is in my vagina, even if I rub my clit. I don't have this problem with anal penetration.

[Sam W]

Hi Limes,

So you know, most people with vaginas will not achieve orgasm from insertion of a penis (or other object) alone, so looking for other ways to stimulate yourself is a sound move (and a something it sounds like you're trying). When something is inside your vagina, does it feel good? Or does it feel sort of meh or uncomfortable?

[Limes]

Vaginal penetration feels very good, and there's only discomfort if I'm at a weird angle or my boyfriend and I have been doing it for more than half an hour. I've been able to orgasm with clitoral stimulation alone, and I've been able to orgasm with clitoral stimulation with anal penetration(preferred method), but for some reason it just won't happen with vaginal penetration with or without clitoral stimulation. It feels like I get really close every time but it just doesn't happen.

[Sam W]

Go it. You might want to take a look at this article, as some of the information in it could help you out: The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum

Is there any reason why you and your partner couldn't make vaginal intercourse something you engage because it feels good but with the understanding that you'll need another activity to help you orgasm afterwards? In other words, is there a particular reason it's important to you that you orgasm from vaginal intercourse?

[Limes]

When I ask my partner about it, he doesnt seem to mind it, but sometimes there's just something so thrilling about the thought of me orgasming while he's inside me. It's not a huge issue with me, and he's more than willing to help finish the deed after he's already finished. Thanks for the help!

[Heather]

I'm seeing this late, but it sounds like your desire to have orgasm with this might be exactly what's getting in the way of it most (loopy, I know). So often when people are very focused on orgasm, including wanting it to happen a certain way, and trying really hard, it winds up backfiring and making it harder.

Bodies are very unpredictable, and our sexual responses can change, but it may well be that the thing that'll help you out the most here is to do what you can to really let go of an attachment to reaching orgasm this way when you're engaging in this activity (no need to stop fantasizing about it with masturbation, for instance) and just go with the flow more, just following and focusing on what feels good.