Oral Sex Advice

[fairo]

Hello,
I am with my girlfriend since 7 years and we always do outercourse just to be safe from any pregnancy risk. We also get involved in oral sex sometime and I always use a condom whenever I receive oral sex from her.

So in this scenario where we are completely monogamous to each other with no sexual history in the past other than with each other, can we try oral sex without condom. Because we are only involved with each other since 7 years.

Will it be safe? for her?
Because we never used any protection whenever I give her oral sex and its been many years and we are completely fine and healthy.
Now, I also want to try it without condom?
Can we?

Thanks

[Alice O]

Hi fario,

I am glad to hear you and your girlfriend are being really thoughtful around pregnancy risks and safer sex practices!

If you are and your girlfriend have been each other's only sexual partners (including oral, vaginal, and anal sex) than it is highly unlikely that either of you have an STI.

But, there are a few caveats to that. STIs are called "sexually transmitted" infections because that is how they are most often transmitted, but some STIs can be transmitted non-sexually.
- Oral herpes is most commonly transmitted non-sexually, usually in childhood.
- HIV can be transmitted through breast milk if the mother is HIV+, and can also be transmitted through IV drug use or use of a dirty needle in tattooing or piercing.
- Hepatitis can also be transmitted through IV drug use and use of a dirty needle. Hepatitis A can be transmitted through ingestion of contaminated food/drink, and Hepatitis B can be transmitted through birth to an infected mother.
This information is, primarily, from this advice column: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... ave_an_std

So if you would like to be certain that neither of you have an STI getting a full round of testing at a sexual healthcare provider is your best bet. You have both been sexually exclusive for more than six months (many more!), and it sounds like are planning to continue to be monogamous, so if neither of you tests positive for any STIs you could stop using condoms without any concern for STI transmission.

If you decide to stop using condoms when she gives you oral sex, you two will want to talk about what you both are comfortable with in terms of ejaculation--for example is she comfortable having semen in her mouth, is she comfortable having semen on her body etc.

Does all that make sense?

[fairo]

Hey Alice,

Thank you so much for such an elaborative reply.
So suppose if i have like herpes in childhood would it not show any symptoms by now? Is it true for any STIs ? Or they can be dormant for like so many years?

Also if i go for a laboratory testing which specific tests should i ask them to conduct for me to be sure that i dont have any STI.
Because we dont have like any sexual healthcare centers.

Thank you

[Heather]

It can happen that people who contract the Herpes virus in childhood do go many years, even decades, without an outbreak they notice, but that is fairly uncommon.

If you go to get STI testing, what you'll just want to do in your situation is either just ask for a full panel (that means asking them to test for all they can test for) or you can tell them your sexual history and tell them to decide at their discretion what tests they think you need.