Putting Things in my Vagina

[deadaccountt]

I've basically been masturbating since I was 5. It wasn't until I was about 11-12 that I became curious about what was happening. Anyway, I always have masturbated the same way: lying down while rubbing my clit. I wouldn't stop until I reached orgasm, either. I'm getting tired of only rubbing, but I'm scared of putting a finger in my vagina. I've tried before, but I didn't go about half an inch before panicking and wanting to stop. I've also never used a tampon before, but I love swimming! I'm scared to death that something will go wrong if I try to put something up there, but I also hear that fingering is more pleasing than rubbing. Another issue is that it takes me a while to find the vaginal opening. I'm not even sure if what I was trying was even the right opening anyway. How will I ever be able to have sex like this? I've always wanted to have sex, but how will that be possible if I'm scared to have anything up there? Please help. I've always wanted to be a mother!

[Heather]

Worrying about potential motherhood seems like putting the cart waaaaaay before the horse here (plus, having intercourse isn't necessary for pregnancy anymore, anyway).

Can you fill me in on what you think you're afraid of here? Like, are you afraid of hurting yourself, for example? Too, do you have this issue with other orifices, like your mouth?

[Siân]

Hi Rosie,

Welcome to the boards!

Actually many women prefer external stimulation prefer external stimulation - rubbing - to internal things like fingering. It's your body so you're best placed to decide what feels good for you, there's no "right" way to do it. If penetration isn't something that appeals to you right now, that's ok!

If at some point you decide you are interested in penetrative activities, then the most important thing is to take it slow. When we put pressure on ourselves it tends to make us tense up, and that stress can make the muscles of the vagina clench and everything becomes more difficult. Any kind of sex - alone or with a partner - doesn't usually happen all at once, or even all in the same week, so take your time while your body (and your brain!) get used to new sensations. Does that make sense? Here's a good article to help you navigate: Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More

You mentioned worries that something could go wrong if you choose activities that include vaginal entry. I was wondering if there was anything in particular you are concerned about? For example, the cervix prevents anything going too far and getting "lost" inside your vagina. If you're more concerned about pain, then unless there is something medical going on (best to see a healthcare professional if you think that something's wrong) then provided you take it slow and use lube as needed it needn't be painful. Check this out if you're worried about pain: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

You mentioned being able to have sex, I'm guessing from the context that you mean vaginal intercourse with a partner? I ask because there is more than one way of having sex, and plenty of people have happy, satisfying sex lives with primarily external kinds of sex Our sexual preferences change a lot over the course of our lives, so while it sounds like that insertion isn't something you're interested in now, you may find that in the future in the right circumstances or with the right partner it is something you want to try. Everyone has different sexual interests and it's as ok to be super excited about the idea as it is to be totally disinterested.

[Siân]

Oops, didn't hit refresh before I sent, so missed out on Heather's reply!