How To Masterbate?

[anonymous21]

Hi I’m a 21 year old female I’ve been trying for so long to learn how to do penetration with my fingers it’s something I really want to try. But when I try I feel like I’m doing it wrong I don’t know how to explain it, it feels like I’m in the wrong place.

[Heather]

Well, not everyone enjoys fingers inside their vagina, and when it comes to doing it yourself, it can for sure be a little more difficult because it can be hard to get the kind of angles that may make it feel good to you.

Are you aware that this isn't the only way to masturbate (and, in fact, isn't a way most people with vaginas do masturbate, or do all by itself)? If so, do you enjoy the other ways you already masturbate?

[anonymous21]

Yes I do know that’s not the only way to do it I do kinda enjoy my regular routine but sometimes I just wanna spice it up.

Well, not everyone enjoys fingers inside their vagina, and when it comes to doing it yourself, it can for sure be a little more difficult because it can be hard to get the kind of angles that may make it feel good to you.

Are you aware that this isn't the only way to masturbate (and, in fact, isn't a way most people with vaginas do masturbate, or do all by itself)? If so, do you enjoy the other ways you already masturbate?

[Heather]

Okay, but changing things up probably means to things you enjoy, right? It might just be that fingers inside your vagina -- doing it to yourself, or doing it period -- isn't one of those things.

If you have explored it a lot, trying a whole lot of different things and angles, that might just be the case. Or, it may be that if you want to add something to your masturbation that involves putting something into your vagina, a toy will work better for you than your fingers.

[anonymous21]

Unfortunately I still live at home with absolutely no privacy so my normal routine is get it done ASAP so sex toys are also out of the question.

Okay, but changing things up probably means to things you enjoy, right? It might just be that fingers inside your vagina -- doing it to yourself, or doing it period -- isn't one of those things.

If you have explored it a lot, trying a whole lot of different things and angles, that might just be the case. Or, it may be that if you want to add something to your masturbation that involves putting something into your vagina, a toy will work better for you than your fingers.

[Jacob]

Hi anonymous21!

I imagine that feeling you have zero privacy would definitely get in the way of being able to enjoy anything sexually, not to mention be pretty stressful in itself. I really think privacy and giving each other space is really important.

Is this something you could negotiate with who you live with? It doesn't have to be framed as a masturbation thing but bringing it up as something you need more of, sounds like it could be great for you, even if a difficult conversation at first.

In the meantime, when difficulty getting access to sex is an issue this article of ours can be really helpful: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition