Sexual contact

[Corrie199689]

No sexual contact = no risk correct?

Pregnancy is impossible without a male in the same room as you unless through artificial insemination

[Heather]

Corrie: this pattern of questions isn't one I think is productive or works for us in terms of how we need to manage our direct services.

Can you perhaps give me an idea about what's going on here in terms of trying to figure out how to address your needs? Is it that you're not sure if you understand our content that provides these kinds of answers? Is it that you have fears about pregnancy in your own life? Is it that we're the only people you can check in or talk with about any of this? Is it that you don't trust yourself to understand this information?

[Corrie199689]

I think I'm not sure I understand at times and when I do understand I then don't trust that I'm telling myself the correct information

It's like I know that if I'm not doing sexual acts with my boyfriend there's no risk of pregnancy but then I also then think wait what if there's been sperm left somewhere and I end up impregnating myself

I'm sorry to be such a hassle

[Corrie199689]

But I have been reading other posts tonight and realise that if sperm has been deposited anywhere other than the vulva then there is no risk

So I'm going to try my best to take a break from reading posts and asking questions and just relax about this for a bit

[Heather]

Okay, so as I understand it, this is about you being sexual with your boyfriend and being worried you may become pregnant from those activities.

I think then you may just need a different piece here. We created a guide that is literally a list of things people often do sexually and what, if any, risk of STIs or pregnancy they prevent. And if something -- like some of the things you have asked about -- present no risk at all, they are simply not on this list. ANYTHING that presents realistic risks of pregnancy is on this list.

Here that is for you: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?.

I would also suggest you just have a think about if you really feel ready to be sexual with your boyfriend. A lot of the time when people are worried like this and they're younger, it's because they are being more sexual with someone than they actually feel ready for, even if what they are doing doesn't present real risks. Part of being ready is being able to be realistic and to feel comfortable -- without excess worry or panic. So, you may just want to think and talk together about that some, too.

[Corrie199689]

that's really helpful thank you!

So basically I can get it out of my head that I'm going to get pregnant from everyday activities because things like using the bathroom etc are not on that guide

It's only going to be things that my boyfriend and I do together that can create that risk correct?

I had talked to him before and we cut out intercourse/genital contact (I'm on the pill and we used condoms too) because I had freaked out too much about it but I think you're right and I'm going to talk to him about cutting out all sexual acts for a while just until I can get this anxiety back under control because atm I'm now worrying over things that aren't even realistic e.g pregnant from the toilet or sperm on my underwear

[Heather]

For sure, I think ditching ideas or worries that aren't based in reality is always a good idea.

And it sounds like you're thinking soundly about your anxiety and this right now. I know it can suck to pull things back if you're enjoying yourself otherwise, and a partner is too, but sometimes we just want things that are actually ahead of where we're at and need to take the time to catch up so what we're doing also matches our real readiness. Good for you for thinking about taking care of yourself in this way.

[Corrie199689]

Thanks for chatting with me, it's been a great help!

So I can safely say now that no sexual activity = no pregnancy risk, just not possible to cocreate a pregnancy when there isn't a male in the room with you correct?

I think I'm going to consider talking to my doctor about this again, I had to a little while ago because I was overly concerned about my birth control pill and think it'll be good to get it off my chest to someone

[Heather]

I'm glad we were able to come to this place, and glad to have been of help, but I still need you to respect and accept the line we have around these kinds of questions, which I think I've made pretty clear with the responses to your other threads where you have kept asking them. You know the answer to this question, and I think I have also made clear why it's not okay to keep asking it of us when we have given you the information already.

Your healthcare provider can absolutely be one great person to talk with. Sometimes, too, nurses are even better choices for these kinds of conversations than doctors: they usually have more practical experience as well as more time to talk with patients.

[Corrie199689]

Ok, thank you for everything!