Anxiety

[Jasther]

Hi, I have post quite a lot of posts. And mostly ask me to deal with anxiety. May i know how to deal with pregnancy anxiety?
I want to know how to think rational bout the risk that i post. I feel like now everything that I felt i will link it to pregnancy. For example like today I tried to finger myself and it come out a bit of blood and now spotting light brown. And because it is 4 days before my period I yet think of this spotting as implantation bleeding again. Thank you so much for all the help.

[Sam W]

Hi Jasther,

If you haven't already done so, take a look at this article and see if any of the reasons it offers for recurring pregnancy fears apply to you. Knowing what is behind the fears is the first step towards addressing them: You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are?
Do you tend to be really anxious about other things in your life, or are the hard-to-shake fears only related to pregnancy?

[Jasther]

Hi Sam, I dont really have any anxiety aside from the pregnancy scare. I have read the article that you sent to me. Some of them are correct Bcause my family culture not allow to do sexual things before marriage. And i dont kmow is it because of this, but I feel more like when i see the condom have any slip down or not perfect till the end of intercourse even if it never rip, break or slip entirely off. I felt that I never use the condom perfectly and I keep on telling myself I will get pregnant, and of course some of the symptoms that made me even think more like spotting, breast tenderness and back pain. Is this all included as anxiety disorder?

[Sam W]

Coming from a culture that frames sex before marriage as bad can definitely be a source of irrational pregnancy fears, because it can leave you feeling like you will be "punished" for what you're doing. If you look in that article, it has some recommended next steps to take to get a handle on that fear. Do those steps look doable to you?

Since it sounds like these fears are causing you a lot of distress, it would also be a sound choice to scale back your sexual activity to a level where you're comfortable with any risks involved. Do you think you could talk to your partner about making that change?

[Jasther]

Hi Sam, I cant. And actually I was quite enjoy it with my partner. I have been thinking maybe i should do something from my part maybe like putting cervical cap plus a condom and see maybe it will give me a good protection towards pregnancy.
But for now I really wanted to try to calm down otherwise if the day of my period come and I nver get my period I will be very worried thinking that I am pregnant. Is there any suggestions on how to handle this anxiety? And How can i understand that real pregnancy risk will need direct contact with penis or ejaculate in which i has condom but how to tell myself that it really wont create a real risk pregnancy? Thank you Sam

[Mo]

The best person to talk to about learning how to manage anxiety would be a doctor or mental healthcare provider. Even if you find that you're only anxious about pregnancy and not other things in your life, it's still a real anxiety that's impacting your life. If you're unable to see someone in person right now, we do have some resources collected here: Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources

I'm curious - why is it that you feel like you can't back off from any kind of sex that causes pregnancy fears right now? It's a great idea to investigate different birth control options to see if there's one you'd feel comfortable with, but in the meantime (or even after that, if you find a new bc method doesn't reduce your anxiety) we do generally suggest that people hold off on any kind of sex that causes distress or anxiety afterwards. Even if you're enjoying it in the moment, ideally sex is something that the people involved can feel good about in the moment and afterwards as well.

[Jasther]

Hi Mo, I have stopped all imtercourse on day 13. Which is 2 weeks ago. After I have freaked out about pregnancy because of the slip down condom and spotting that i got I have stopped all intercourse
But just that in the mean time, when i am waiting for my period I get very anxious and keep on rhinking what if what if and keep on searching online and mostly I am very scare that I wont have my period which will cause me even more stress.
Is it really condom slip down wont cause pregnancy? I have read some article online and some said condom used properly still get pregnant.
Ans i got anxious when think that protected sex also will cause pregnancy.

[Mo]

As Sam has said before, we really need you to respect the limits we've set around answering this question and other questions about potential pregnancy risks.
Because you're feeling so anxious, and doing things like searching online that are going to make you more anxious in the long run, not less, I think the next step for you is going to be to seek out some mental healthcare support for anxiety, or at the very least to investiagte some of the resources in that link I posted in my last response.
Anxiety and other mental health issues aren't ones that we're equipped or able to help with, but I think that's going to be the most effective kindof support for you to look into right now.

[Jasther]

Thank you Mo, i will try to read some anxiety books. Hope it will help me get through some of my thoughts. In the mean time, today i get bleeding but it was so light maybe can call as spotting, which range from color light brown to pinkish to red. But its still 3 days away from my period. Do i need to worry this or is it consider as period? I know i should not ask bout any pregnancy risk and respect the limit that you all set.
But how can I differentiate this bleeding to period or implantation bleeding? Thank you

[Jasther]

Thank you Mo, i will try to read some anxiety books. Hope it will help me get through some of my thoughts. In the mean time, today i get bleeding but it was so light maybe can call as spotting, which range from color light brown to pinkish to red. But its still 3 days away from my period. Do i need to worry this or is it consider as period? I know i should not ask bout any pregnancy risk and respect the limit that you all set.
But how can I differentiate this bleeding to period or implantation bleeding? Thank you

[Mo]

We can't tell you what this spotting is, because there's no way for us to know, but sometimes periods come earlier than expected, and spotting at the beginning of a period isn't unusual.

[Jasther]

Thank you Mo. today the blood is much more than yestrday but it does not have any flow like my normal period. Normally it will come a lot in day 1. Should i worry this? Or is it consider as normal period? There are some blood clots in it.. it was like half size of panty liner, but when I changed to pad the whole day just around the middle area not close to my normal period.
May i know if implantation bleeding how does it look like? Thank you

[Jasther]

And if the blood can fit to 2 panty liners, is this call spotting? Thank you