Family ?

[ailurophiledork]

Hey there! Im really new to this just recently registered, so im jst gonna ask, my mom and dad has been really too protective over me i mean thats what i felt , im 17 now and they still think i need to be accompanied everywhere i go like literally everywhere even at the mall such as small trips to the toilet or restroom, im really concerned about how to prove myself to them that i am capable of doing things on my own if they never given me space to adapt or room to even show them that im grown enough, what should i do?

[Sam W]

Hi ailurophiledork and welcome to Scarleteen,

How you bring this issue up with them depends on what kind of arguments or ideas you think they'd be the most open to hearing. For example, if you think they'd respond to the idea that you'll need to be able to look after yourself or learn to adapt on your own one day, you could try leading with that argument. I'd also suggest you start by asking for small pieces of freedom or responsibility and then building from there (for instance, you could start with asking them to let you take short trips to places like the mall unsupervised). If they even supervise you when you're with friends, you could ask to go places with your friends or to their houses without your parents coming along. Does making a request like that feel doable to you? If not, what things make it feel like it would be too difficult?

[ailurophiledork]

Hi sam, thankyou for the reply, i would really like to ask them about certain things like a request if i can play with my friends, but mostly i got scared to death first before even asking the question because my dad has a tendency to get mad at absolutely the smallest thing, and i got this idea that he thinks its totally weird for me to ask him if i can go out or not, he wants me to be this girl who just sits all her day and night at house and be completely obedient, i mean .. i would love to do that, but everytime i came home i got stress because he keeps having this fight with my mom, i just wanna relieve myself but he doesnt seem to understand that, what should i doo???

[Heather]

What are your outside resources like? Do you attend school, for instance, and if so, is there anyone who works there you know -- a teacher, an administrator -- you could ask for some help with this?

What about extended familyZ? Is there anyone in your extended family who you think would be supportive of you wanting more autonomy who your parents also respect and might listen to if they talked with them?