Sexuality struggles

[Randomanonomous]

I am very angry at my parents because they continuously make jokes about my sexuality and make fun of me and other members of the LGBTQ+ community and it makes me seriously mad and offended. I have tried talking to them about it and asked them to stop bit they still talk me that since I'm a teen I don't know what I want and I can't actually say of part of the LGBTQ+ community.

[Heather]

Well, I disagree you can't know what you want because of your age (and most adults don't say that about straight teens, so). I also disagree you can't be part of queer or trans communities: you can, and if you want help finding some online or offline, that's something we can often help with.

I'm so sorry that it sounds like your parents are very strongly biased against those of us who are queer or trans. That's so hard to live with. If they are mocking you around this, it sounds like they may even be emotionally abusive. Are they harmful to you in the way they have been with this in other ways? Or do they only behave this way when it comes to this particular issue, group of people and part of who you are?

[Randomanonomous]

It really only applies to these kinds of topics, whenever I try to bring up anything that has to do with my sexualtiy or gender identity they get very annoyed and tell me to stop discussing it because "I'm too young to know so I don't need to talk about it all the time." They keep insisting that I have no idea what I'm talking about when I talk about my own feelings. It makes no sense

[Heather]

Well, it makes sense if you figure that probably what they actually mean is that THEY don't want to talk about it. And if you also figure that -- from the sounds of things -- they just aren't educated about this to know that you aren't too young to know.

I think in this kind of situation (which sucks, and I'm sorry) it can help to look at what you really want here for what's realistic. It sounds like you want their support and acceptance. If that sounds right to you, do you think there are other ways they might be receptive to good information, like through meetings or information made for parents? Or do you think no matter what you do, they probably won't give you support and acceptance? If it's the latter, how do you feel about seeking it out elsewhere, from people who are more likely to give that to you?

[Randomanonomous]

I've tried so many things to try and help them understand but it really doesn't seem like they'll ever really accept me for me. The only people that have always supported me are my friends which is great and all, but it doesn't make you feel very loved when your parents are always trying to convince you that you don't know your own feelings.

[Heather]

For sure. Your feelings are 100% valid.

Unfortunately, when families turn around who are like this, it tends to take some time, and not months time, but years time. So, while I wish I could tell you how to turn them around more quickly, I can't. Most likely, what you'll need to do is figure out how to be okay -- and get through the time you're still living at home -- in the meantime. Is that something you'd like to talk about?

[Randomanonomous]

Nothing else is bothering me in particular, but thank you for helping me out. I just hope that they can come to their senses soon, but if they don't that's their problem not mine. (: