Sexual Orientation

[Hamburger2222]

I have always only liked boys.I went through a period of harsh sexual harassment because of these series of rumors that this boy who sexually assaulted me made up rumors thay I let him have sexual intercouse with me and so many other things.They were all lies but ppl somehow beliebe them or want to believe them.Because of these rumors guys mainly would call me a slut,ho etc and I've grown distant and sorta of untrusting towards them.I haven't had a full conversation with a guy since Jan 2017 and I feel sort of scared when ever a guy approaches me.I have begun to question my sexuality right now because I haven't talked to a boy my age who isn't a family member,I go to an all girls school.I feel so confused because I don't think of girls that way but all these years [3] have really psychologically damaged me.People can sorta tell I'm questioning my sexuality and they say things like "Straight, or turning bi " and honestly it disturbs me.What should I do,I don't know who I am ,I support gay people and I don't think there is nothing wrong with being no but I know I'm not bi.But there words,my classmates, and some of my teachers words really dobaffect me.Am I bi?

[Sam W]

Hi Hamburger,

I'm so sorry that the person who assaulted you added extra harm on top of it. So you know, there are plenty of survivors who find that after the assault they have a difficult time trusting or being around men. If that's something that's causing you distress, it may be helpful to talk to a counselor who specializes in helping survivors (not that there's anything wrong with being wary after you were hurt, but if you're finding a fear of men is interfering with your ability to interact in the world that may be worth addressing).

The hard truth is, neither I nor anyone else gets to decide if you're Bi or not. Sexual orientation is very personal, and something we each have to figure out for ourselves. A helpful starting place may be to think about your desires, both now and throughout your life, and whether your attraction was always towards a specific gender or if you experience(d) attraction to more than one gender. How would you describe those patterns for yourself? What gender or genders do you get crushes on or have fleeting moments of thinking "oh that person is cute? Or do you not experience those feelings at all?

As a side note, since it sounds like other people speculating about you identity isn't helping the matter, do you want to talk about ways you could cut those conversations off or ask people to stop applying a label to you without your consent?