Camping with my Sister

[Tommy, Tommy]

Hello,

I live in a very rural area. So it is easy to go camping where I am.

Now that I’m old enough, I am going to go on my first camping trip with my sister.

I have concerns over how I am going to get access to a shower. I am of that age When I smell and have concerns.

I am also concerned about how much privacy I’ll be able to get while camping.

I am also concerned that we may get eaten by a bear because my sister is on her period.( at least that’s what my friends say)

Any Advice?

[Siân]

Hi Tommy,

What kind of camping trip are you going on? Are you going out into the wilderness, or to a designated camp site with facilities?

If you are going somewhere with facilities, then usually those include shower blocks with individual showers cubicles so it's not too different to at home. If you are wild camping (i.e. not at a campsite) then keeping clean might look more like a swim in a lake if there is one and it's safe, or having a bowl of water and splashing/pouring it over yourself, or using smaller amounts of water on a washcloth or corner of a towel to wipe clean, or taking wet wipes and antiperspirant. It's worth bearing in mind that we're all human, and we all sweat and smell a bit sometimes and when we are away camping we don't expect people to be fresh as a daisy every day because we're forgoing some luxuries to spend time doing something different and (hopefully!) exciting. What do you think?

With your privacy question, if you're sharing a tent you can agree with your sister to each give eachother privacy in the tent to get changed etc. and if you need some quiet space then you can talk about and agree that too, and just sit quietly and do your thing nearby, or go for a short walk depending on exactly where you are. Does that answer your concern?

As for bears drawn by menstrual odor, that is very much a myth. In fact, the National Park Service released a paper a year or two back stating that there is no evidence that grizzly or black bears are attracted by people on their period. Plus, I wonder if your friends would really know whether your sister was on her period? It sounds more like they are messing with you.

Is there anything else you wanted to ask about this? How are you feeling about going camping?

[Tommy, Tommy]

Hello,

Question from you:

“What kind of camping trip are you going on? Are you going out into the wilderness, or to a designated camp site with facilities?”

My answer:

We are going wilderness camping. We don’t have a tent, we are just going to bring sleeping bags.

Your Question:

“If you are going somewhere with facilities, then usually those include shower blocks with individual showers cubicles so it's not too different to at home. If you are wild camping (i.e. not at a campsite) then keeping clean might look more like a swim in a lake if there is one and it's safe, or having a bowl of water and splashing/pouring it over yourself, or using smaller amounts of water on a washcloth or corner of a towel to wipe clean, or taking wet wipes and antiperspirant. It's worth bearing in mind that we're all human, and we all sweat and smell a bit sometimes and when we are away camping we don't expect people to be fresh as a daisy every day because we're forgoing some luxuries to spend time doing something different and (hopefully!) exciting. What do you think?”

My answer and a new question:

We are going wilderness camping. We don’t have a tent, we are just going to bring sleeping bags. Any advice on how to wash my entire body, including “down there” (my private area)?

Outside of these concerns, I am really excited to go camping for the first time.

Your question:

“With your privacy question, if you're sharing a tent you can agree with your sister to each give each other privacy in the tent to get changed etc. and if you need some quiet space then you can talk about and agree that too, and just sit quietly and do your thing nearby, or go for a short walk depending on exactly where you are. Does that answer your concern?”

My answer and more questions from me:

We don’t have a tent, we are just going to bring sleeping bags. With this in mind, any privacy advice specific to this situation?

As for the bears, I know my sister is on her period since we went to the store together, when we were at the store, she picked up some pads and tampons. I said “why are you packing those” She said “because I am going to be on my period”

Your question:

“Is there anything else you wanted to ask about this? How are you feeling about going camping?”

Answer:

I have a lot more thoughts, that I will type up later. I am busy right now.

[Jacob]

Hey Tommy, Tommy,

I'm no wilderness bushcraft expert... but sounds like your privacy options are going to be "go behind a tree" and "can you look the other way".

You will need water to drink and probably to wash in (if you pack a bar of soap) etc... so perhaps talking to your sister about these things could help, as I imagine she has a plan on that front. In fact ALL of these things (barring the non-existent period-hungry-bears who we have already addressed) are things she could likely help you with if, as it sounds is the case, she has more experience of the outdoors.

If you really aren't ok with that, you could lobby to change your camping destination to somewhere with more facilities. But in either case you will still need to talk to your sister about your concerns.

This does sound like it could be a great experience however you do it... and not just for the chance to see nature and have a getaway from everyday problems... this might also be a good way to practise boundaries and good communication which are the kind of things which can always help us in later life.

I think it's kinda cool that you guys have this plan! I really hope that it can be a positive experience and I'm guessing that talking about it is the way to make that happen.

[Jacob]

Hi Tommy,

There's no need to repost your previous answer as it will be visible and probably re-read by any volunteer who joins this thread to give an answer.

I've edited it out, just to make reading this thread easier.

[Tommy, Tommy]

Hi Tommy,

There's no need to repost your previous answer as it will be visible and probably re-read by any volunteer who joins this thread to give an answer.

I've edited it out, just to make reading this thread easier.

Ok, thanks!

[Siân]

You're going bivvying! I love bivvying it's my favourite kind of camping.

Ok, so no-tent answer is Jacob is pretty much spot on. Rocks, trees, walking 30m away and the other person turning their back are all good privacy options, and it may feel weird to not have a door and a lock but it helps to remember that we're all just people with bodies that do what bodies do, and most people will give you the privacy they can in the expectation of getting the same in return.

As to the washing, as I said before you might expect to be less clean for a few days and that's ok. No-shower washing I largely described the options above, but if you're thinking about the modesty + cleanliness equation sometimes the easiest is to strip down to the point you're comfortable and use a damp cloth and tiny bit of soap, or wetwipes, to clean the worst of the day off from under your clothes. It helps if the clothes are loose!

I'd definitely second Jacob's point that your sister will have better answers that we can give you, since she likely knows exactly where you're going, what there is there, and how she approaches these things

[Tommy, Tommy]

I am writing to let you guys know what happened on my camping trip. I am also writing to thank you guys for all the advice. It was a really fun experience and helped my body image. I also broke down a lot of body image issues that I have had for years. I put on loose fitting clothes like you guys said I should, it really helped.

So, me and my sister went camping, we went on a 2 week camping trip. I did get the chance to wash during that time. On the first day, We got there early in the day and went hiking. By the end of that day, I was really hot and sweaty, but had had a great time.

I asked my sister what I should do, she pointed me to a large bush and told me to get some water and wash off. I did that, that felt really good. It was a really big bush, and covered me very well, so I washed “down there” (sorry if I am being TMI)

My sister went off and washed behind a big bush, as well. It was really hot, so I just put on a pair a of underwear. I asked my sister if It was ok that I slept with my shirt off, (she had no problems with that)

She also went behind a big tree and put on a sports bra and a swimsuit bottom.

She had her sleeping bag and I had mine.

I felt very comfortable, and actually improved my view of my body image. I thought it would be a lot more complicated, but it really wasn’t.

In the morning, I woke up, and had bacon and eggs. (She cooked them on a fire that me and her made) We then went and got dressed for the day. Went behind the bushs again. I put on some deodorant. Which really helped with the smell.

We had a really fun time hiking that day, and she showed where some native Americans used to live, and we did some hiking and rockclimbing, it was really fun.

The next couple days were uneventful, but really fun. We kept that changing routine in place.

Until the end of the first week, I decided to Break my fear, and start changing in front of my sister. I thought “Well, I can’t keep this habit up forever, and she is my sister, and his family, and this seems like the best time and place to break this habit.”

So that night, I changed in front of my sister, underwear included. I thought it was going to be really awkward, but it wasn’t, I did what I had to do, and that was it. I scratched my head after thing “what I had been so worried about for so many years.”

After I changed, nothing was different, we continue talking about what we were talking about.

After that, I felt really at home and comfortable.

Obviously, my sister kept on changing, and putting on personal hygiene products ( tampons, pads) and shaving (“down there”, legs, ect) in private (behind a huge bush). Because she is an adult... and adults have to be more modest then kids.

The whole thing completely changed my views about my body image, it made me a lot more confident, and made me feel much better about my body. It has really improved my self-confidence, and I had a great time on a separate not The whole thing completely changed my views about my body image, it made me a lot more confident, and made me feel much better about my body. It has really improved my self-confidence, and I had a great time on a separate note.

It was really fun, she showed me historical landmarks along the route, and we did some really fun rock climbing and hiking.

I want to thank you guys so much, your advice really helped me, and I thank you guys so much, I wouldn’t of had such a positive experience without you guys. On a separate note, sorry if this was t I want to thank you guys so much, your advice really helped me, and I thank you guys so much, I wouldn’t of had such a positive experience without you guys. On a separate note, sorry if this was too TMI.

What are you guys thoughts on this whole experience?

[Tommy, Tommy]

Clarification: I want you guys thoughts on my experience?

[Heather]

I'm not really sure what there is for us to say about this?

It sounds like you had a good time camping with your family. That's great. Yay! It also sounds like healthy boundaries around bodies were in place, but that you were also able to just be a person with a body camping, which tends to involve things like needing to change clothes in less private spaces and body smells. That's good, too: as it should be. I'm glad the staff here were able to help you with what you needed help with so you could just go camping and have a nice time.