Irregular Periods

[OCDVictim]

What could be the possible reasons for a significant shift in period cycle?

Her periods were always irregular but from past 3-4 months they were coming between 35-38 days. Last month, her periods arrived after 31 days and this month she had a 41 days long cycle.

I know I violated your policy and therefore, you locked my previous thread but this time it is not about pregnancy fear.

Also, what could be the maximum duration of Decidual Bleeding?
You mentioned once that it is lighter than a period but could you really use 2-3 pads in a single day?

There won't be any counter question from my side. I also don't want you to say if she could be pregnant or not. Just answer what could be the reason for such a change in a period cycle and the maximum possible duration of Decidual Bleeding.

Thank you.

[Sam W]

Hi OCDVictim,

Menstrual cycles can vary in length from month to month for lots of reasons, because bodies are not machines and can be influenced by a variety of factors. If someone has only had their period for a few years, it's quite common for them to still be experiencing cycle irregularity. You can read more about cycles and how they work in these two articles: M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?
On the Rag: A Guide to Menstruation

From your questions about periods and decidiual bleeding, it sounds like you still have anxiety around pregnancy. When that's the case for someone, we suggest dialing back sexual activity to a level where you feel comfortable with any risks involved. Does that feel like something you can do? Too, you mention in your last post that you've been diagnosed with OCD. Are you currently seeing someone to help you manage your OCD?

[OCDVictim]

My girlfriend knows she's not pregnant. I trust her. There are two things; first, we don't have sex education in our country. A small article destroys my concentration completely. Second, I am seeing a psychologist. She's helpful. I can't go on medication because I can't let my parents know anything about it. We cannot go for a pregnancy test because again, she says she ain't pregnant.
So, all I have is to rule out pregnancy completely using symptoms. She is not having any symptom. Just eye problem and strain on her eyes. No nausea, dizziness, nothing.
If you could answer about Decidual Bleeding, it might help me. Just how can one actually differentiate Decidual from periods? Duration, flow type, anything.

[Sam W]

We've already made our limits around pregnancy scares clear, and those limits include reassurance seeking around things like decidual bleeding. Too, we ask users to consult the main site before asking questions here, and this is something you can find information about by doing that.

Have you had a chance to talk with your psychologist about how your OCD may be interacting with your fears about pregnancy and discussed strategies to manage those fears when they arise? Too, is there a particular reason your parents would know if you went on medication?

As I mentioned above, when a person is having this kind of anxiety around pregnancy it's sound to not engage in any types of sexual activity that seem to trigger that anxiety. Have you and your girlfriend discussed dialing back what activities you engage in for the time being to ones where you are comfortable with any risks?

[OCDVictim]

Yes, I was completely open with my psychologist. She said pregnancy with pre ejaculation is possible but it is very very rare and also it should include penetration. Even a drop of precum on vulva cannot cause it because if there is no direct genital to genital contact then only ejaculation directly on vulva might cause it and precum is definitely not ejaculation. Pretty much the same what you have already written in your articles.

As for my parents, to put it simply, they won't understand. They'll ask questions. And I don't want to answer those.

Yes, we've discussed about it and kind of stopped everything for awhile just to get back on track.

The this is whenever things seem to falling into line and everything just starts making sense something happens that affects my concentration.
She was having intermittent swelling under eyes from past two months (2-3 times.) Sometimes strain accompanied by headaches, and dryness. This month she complained of having frequent eye strains and pain. Now I don't want to think about it but it is also a pregnancy symptom. I hope you can understand.

[Alice O]

Hey OCDVictim,

Glad to hear that you and your girlfriend have taken a break from sexual activity.

And glad to hear that you feel comfortable talking about the subject of sexuality with your therapist! Along with sharing information with you about how pregnancy does and does not happen, I would encourage you to work with them more around how your OCD and your sexual experiences can come together to cause anxiety in your life. Or if you are already doing that, great! Continue! Managing OCD, just like any mental or physical health struggle, takes a lot of time and hard-work and patience.

Best of luck!

[OCDVictim]

Thanks.
You've heard my story. You now know everything. If I were to ask you that could she still be pregnant? What would be your response to that?
Yes or no?

[Heather]

Our response would be that it is our policy not to engage with pregnancy scares:


We will not answer ANY questions about pregnancy fear or anxiety in our direct services from users who are not pregnant or who are not or have not otherwise been directly involved with an actual pregnancy.

Please do not post this kind of question. If you are seeing this text, and your thread is locked, it is because you have posted this kind of question.

We CAN and WILL talk about things like:
• choosing and using a method or methods of contraception for any future sexual activity
• creating your own sexual limits and boundaries based on your needs and/or presenting them to any partners
• making sexual choices that suit your own needs, abilities and limitations, including your own readiness for certain possible risks
• help locating or using emergency contraception if and when you have had a pregnancy risk
• discussing options with a real, existing pregnancy, and help finding and accessing those options, such as abortion services and pre-natal care, or discussing feelings or concerns about a past pregnancy
• help with anxiety like locating mental health services, sound self-help or asking for support from friends or family

For help dealing with a scare (including what poses a risk and your next steps based on your unique situation), you may use our tool on site built for this purpose: The Pregnancy Panic Companion.
For help with anxiety, click here.
For related help and information at Scarleteen, click here.
If you would like more information about this policy, click here.

[OCDVictim]

I thought we were making peace with it now xD.
And I am happy that you didn't lock my thread this time. :p
I think, now I have the answer. She is not pregnant.
Thanks for all the help.
You're doing a great thing.

See ya!