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If You've Been Feeling Helpless or Disempowered Lately, What Things Have Helped You Feel Better?

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
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Sam W
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If You've Been Feeling Helpless or Disempowered Lately, What Things Have Helped You Feel Better?

Unread post by Sam W »

There is a lot of really scary, awful stuff going on in the world right now (I can't speak for folks living in other countries, but living in the U.S feels like being constantly pelted with bad news stones). And I know a lot of people, myself included, have struggled with feeling like there is nothing to do to stem the tide of bad. But, I've found that there are a few things that have helped me shake that feeling.

One has been finding organizations doing good work and donating to them. I know the option of donating to good causes isn't available to everyone, but it makes me feel like if I can't address every problem myself at least I can support the people addressing some of the problems I can't.

The other has been to, as my partner puts it, "be the queer weirdos we wish to see in the world." The town I live in is very conservative, and there's a lot of aggressive patriotism and Trump-loving. Be more visible with my queerness and my feminist beliefs reminds me that this is much my world as it is theirs.

So how about you? What things make you feel empowered in the face of tough stuff?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Sunshine
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Re: If You've Been Feeling Helpless or Disempowered Lately, What Things Have Helped You Feel Better?

Unread post by Sunshine »

Sam,

I feel like you describe. Really worried and discouraged and afraid to look at the news. I live outside the US and even though I am lucky to be where I am compared to most alternatives, I am often overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness.

Donating to organizations that do good work is a good strategy for me too, also sharing info about them with others who might be able to give more.

What I find really helpful too is the opposite approach of focusing on little things that I can do right now where I am with the resources I have at hand. Even if it's just smiling at someone or asking a person whether they're OK. I think it was someone on here (maybe even you?) who said that gentleness can be a form of resistance. That really stuck with me. It seems like the world is getting harder and more cruel by the minute - I refuse to adapt to that. I am soft and I care about things and I will continue to care, dammit!

I also really like talking to the few remaining people who remember WWII first hand. I just had an amazing conversation with an old lady the other day about all the horrors that she survived. And she's still around and hasn't lost her humanity or her ethics or her sense of humor. Times have been SO bad before yet they got better.

A colleague of mine did an awesome thing. Another guy who works with us was being treated really unfairly and disrespectfully by the local authorities about his work permit. On her day off, she drove him to city hall and used their prejudices against them; when a native woman who speaks the language fluently and is older showed up with him and demonstrated support (plus a knowledge of the law and his rights), all of a sudden everything got sorted, the permit was extended and previous "misunderstandings" apologized for.

There's always something you can do, even if it's just for one person on one occasion. And Sam, you guys here at Scarleteen help so many every day. As long as there's people like that, the situation is not hopeless.
Alice O
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Re: If You've Been Feeling Helpless or Disempowered Lately, What Things Have Helped You Feel Better?

Unread post by Alice O »

Thank you for starting this thread Sam, and thank you for your post Sunshine! I resonate so much with everything you said. And thank you for those kind words at the end about Scarleteen :)

Related to something you said ("Times have been SO bad before yet they got better."), someone that is really my guardian angel when I am feeling politically and morally despairing is the writer Rebecca Solnit. I can't recommend her book Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities highly enough.

She reminds me that even when things feel like they have been this way forever and will be this way forever, they haven't been and they won't be. But also change is not inevitable, the way things changed in the past (and the way they will change now) is through all of us coming together, using our voices, taking action, and building power. Along with how effective getting involved with protests and campaigns is, it also helps me to feel less despairing :) Being in political community helps me to feel empowered and energized and hopeful, so it's a win-win. There are so many local and national organizations looking for participants, volunteers, and organizers--a great thing to do in combo with donating money!

Gonna end with an Ursula Le Guin quote I love: “We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings." Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings!

Looking forward to hearing what others have to say about this <3
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