Sexuality

[Pixilix]

Hi, I am a female and I have never had a crush. I would and do find people attractive but when I do they are almost always a girl. I thought that I must be gay or asexual. A few months ago I started to like a guy at my school. He is a very feminine looking guy and is often mistaken for a girl. I am now very confused about my sexuality as being bisexual doesn't feel right. Is there any chance I could still be lesbian even though I like a male?

[Sam W]

Hi Pixilix and welcome to Scarleteen,

It's ultimately up to you to decide what label, if any, to give to your sexual orientation. We can certainly talk about what the feelings you experience might mean, and give you resources to help you puzzle out your identity, but at the end of the day you're the one who gets to decide what identity feels right to you.

For starters, if you haven't already read these two articles, they may be really helpful to you right now:
The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone
Sexuality: WTF Is It, Anyway?
With the first article, are there any terms in there that you hadn't encountered before that feel like they might fit with how you identify? For instance, you say that bisexual doesn't feel like the right term for you. Does another identity that includes attraction to multiple genders, like queer or pansexual, feel like a better match?

While most people define being lesbian as being attracted solely to women, I know there are some women who identify as lesbian who continue to identify while in a relationship with a man (often because they view a specific man as an exception to their overall attraction pattern).