Relationship and hookups on campus

[Lazy_Isopod]

Hi there! I am 19 and a freshman in college. I have had some female issues recently. My ex and I broke up after a year and four month relationship. She cheated on me for a month and then broke up with me over the phone (still hurts to say). Well anyway, I have been trying to look for a girl to maybe just hook up with, but I am open to a relationship. I am on tinder and I have a pretty normal profile compared to my friends and they get matches all the time, but I get just about none, I have gotten nine in the last year. I am close to giving up and I just want something to happen soon. I just recently got to campus and I am in a co-ed dorm, which I love. It seems like no girl is really interested in me, but they are interested in my friends. I am a super nice guy, and I am easy to talk to. Although I am a little on the bigger side at 6' and 280lbs. Maybe that is it? I think that I am a good, and honest man, and I treat women very well, well not just women, everyone really. I am a very positive person as well. I don't have the best confidence in my body, but I do in my personality. Do you have any suggestions? I attend a lot of the campus attraction things to meet new people.

[Jacob]

Hi Lazy_Isopod!

Welcome to Scarleteen.

I'm sorry to hear that you had a painful breakup, it can be difficult to heal when we have grown close to someone and it has to end.

With dating, I don't think you are doing anything wrong per se or that your body type needs to be an issue. It definitely doesn't. Plenty of surveys of college students find that most people almost always overestimate how active their peers sex lives are. The media plays a big part in putting out the idea that casual hookups abound on campus where the reality is... eeeeh not so much.

Long spells when we don't find anyone to date, or with compatible sexual wants and attraction are a common occurrence in many of our lives. So I don't think you need to beat yourself up about it!

It sounds like you are feeling pretty down about yourself in general?

Are there any activities that help you feel better?

[Lazy_Isopod]

Yea, thank you Jacob! Yea I have depression and anxiety so it makes me a little more critical about myself. I enjoy writing in my journal and poetry, but I usually don't share my poetry to many people because of the stigma that comes with poetry and males. I am a very social person so I get along with people pretty well.

I guess I just have to wait until it comes naturally.