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13 year olds

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
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This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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JackHamilton
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Age: 29
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13 year olds

Unread post by JackHamilton »

hi,
when I was 13,and in primary school,many boys from my class would come to girls and slap their butt,without asking.Is that rape?
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Sam W
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Re: 13 year olds

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Jack,

When we talk about sexual assault on this site, a definition we use when talking about unwanted touch is, " Where on the body is unwanted touch rape? Touching someone’s vulva or vagina, breasts, buttocks, anus, penis, testicles, mouth, or other parts of the body without permission, when that touch is intentional and sexual on your part, or is considered sexual by most people, are all rape or sexual assault (in some areas, those terms mean the same thing, but in others, they differ based on the activity or situation). That's from this article if you're interested in reading more: What is rape, and what is it like to be raped? . So, the situation you describe could fall under that definition. Some people might also define it as sexual harassment rather than sexual assault. Really though, the girls who were the targets are ultimately the people who get to decide what they want to call what happened. Does that help?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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JackHamilton
not a newbie
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2018 11:54 am
Age: 29
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Sexual identity: Transgender man,bisexual,homoromantic
Location: Hrvatska

Re: 13 year olds

Unread post by JackHamilton »

yeah,kinda
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JackHamilton
not a newbie
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2018 11:54 am
Age: 29
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Sexual identity: Transgender man,bisexual,homoromantic
Location: Hrvatska

Re: 13 year olds

Unread post by JackHamilton »

but what if someone is like legally an adult,but in mind a child,and drunk,and just been through a rape without knowing it,and suffers psychosis,and is suicidal and touches a girl's breasts and mouth without her consent,thinking it's legal,knowing that it is bad,but thinking it's just as bad as someone not talking to you after sex - is that person held guilty under all this circumstances?
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: 13 year olds

Unread post by Sam W »

Before we get into that situation, can you tell me if you're describing something that actually happened, or if this is a hypothetical situation? I ask because sometimes "what ifs" can become much harder to talk about than things that actually occurred.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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JackHamilton
not a newbie
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2018 11:54 am
Age: 29
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Sexual identity: Transgender man,bisexual,homoromantic
Location: Hrvatska

Re: 13 year olds

Unread post by JackHamilton »

it's a real situation
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Heather
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Location: Chicago

Re: 13 year olds

Unread post by Heather »

Jack, if this is something you're reporting having done yourself (rather than having been the victim of someone else doing), I'm afraid that's not something we have the capacity to help users with here at Scarleteen, and is outside our user guidelines. My understanding is that you currently have a therapist, so that is who I would advise bringing this to and seeking help from with this particular thing.

If this is instead something that happened to you, that someone else did to you, or something that happened to someone you know, we have the ability to help with that.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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