Worries about a kink/fetish that my partner is into.

[homeostasis]

Hello!

I'm sure talking about these types aren't as weird here which gives me comfort in opening up.
Ah and, I'm very new here! Hello again!

So, my partner is into buttstuff(fairly common, yes?) specifically stuffing food up my anus (yikes, I know)
I'm not weird out or against it but I'm also not into it but he gets aroused by it so why not? My only concern is about yeast infection or any other hygienic/bad side of this I should write a mental note about?

I couldn't tell him about these worries as I don't wish to let him down. I must admit that I do feel pressure about this as he always highlighted how his main fetish is buttstuff.

[Alice O]

Hi homeostasis,

I'm glad you are checking in becuase you are right that your partner putting food up your anus likely may not be safe!

Here are a few basic rules of putting an object in your body, specifically in your anus, taken from D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition.

- Any and all objects should be covered with a condom
- No objects with sharp edges or pointy bits
- Do not use anything that could possibly break off inside you
- And, if you are planning on using an object for anal stimulation, it must have a flared base. If you insert something into the anus that does not have a flared base, you run the risk of having it get lost. And then you'll have to explain to the folks at the E.R why there is a cucumber where cucumbers are not usually found.

Are you following those precautions?

It sounds like more broadly it's important for you to check-in with yourself and decide if this is really something you want to explore with your partner, not just something you feel pressured into trying. There's plenty of other anal play you could explore that doesn't involve food. But it's also fine if you decide you aren't wanting to have anal sex. Whatever you decide, the next step is to communicate with him! Ultimately whatever sex you two are having should feel good for both of you. How does all that sound?

[Heather]

Just to be clear, putting foreign objects in the anus like that isn't something safe to do. The only way for something like this to be safe is if whatever it was was put inside a condom, so that someone could always both pull the condom out easily to get whatever it was out of there AND the condom could keep whatever it is from hurting the inside of your body or staying in there in some form.

But even if this was 100% safe, if you still didn't really want to do it or weren't into it for yourself, it would be totally fine -- as it should always be with a partner -- to nix this just because you didn't like it or didn't want to. The idea you or anyone else has to cater to a partner's sexual wants just because it's their most favorite or what they want most isn't a great idea: it sets you up for having sex out of feelings of obligation, duty and pressure which just isn't how a healthy sexual life or relationship goes.