Lesbian in training!

[FumoLes]

Hi, I’m kinda new to this but I have a lot of questions. I should have known I was a lesbian since I saw porn, and the fact that my first kiss was a girl, but it took me a while to put two and two together and coming out as a bunch of different things. I have realized that I’m only into girls when it comes to sex because I’ve only been able to ‘feel good’ when I thought of doing it with women. I still haven’t had sex yet but nobody is able to teach me about lesbian sex and I’m pretty sure not all girls are as flexible as porn stars! I’m reaching the age where I’m legally allowed to have sex and I can’t help but worry about when I have it I won’t know what to do. I just want to know how to be safe and how I can pleasure my partner and myself at the same time. I don’t really have access to toys and I would be embarrassed to have my mom, siblings, and the little kids I babysit to find them! If anyone can get back to me with advice that would be great!

[Sam W]

Hi FumoLes,

It's great that you're already thinking about things like making sure you and a future partner are safe during sex. If two people with vulvas are sexual with each other, you're going to want to use dental dams for oral sex, gloves or finger cots for manual sex, and condoms if certain types of sex toys are used. You can read all about those options here:
All the Barriers! All the Time! .

As for how to make things pleasurable for both of you, that's going to be something that will vary a lot from partner to partner (Heather does a great job of laying out why here: How Do Lesbians Have Sex? ). Since there's no one, correct set of ways lesbians have sex, being able to communicate openly about sexual boundaries and desires is going to be a super-useful tool, because it will help you figure out where your interests overlap with those of a partner. These two articles can be incredibly helpful to have on hand when you start talking about being sexual with a partner: Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist , Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner . Does that all make sense?