Concerned about cold sores

[Begonias]

Hi, my boyfriend gets cold sores, he has his entire life. I know that cold sores are not life threatening or the end of the world, and I know that the chances of me being exposed to the virus over the span of my life is basically 100%. So the fact that I've never had one potentially makes me an asymptomatic carrier or lucky enough not to be a carrier. I get it. I still don't want to ever get a cold sore if I can help it. Unfortunately, he lied to me about getting cold sores when I asked him about it and we have had unprotected oral sex. I went to planned parent hood and was advised to not worry about it unless symptoms start to occur and to start having protected oral sex. Whatever that means?
He texted me the day before New Years and said he was having an outbreak and that we couldn't kiss and that he was taking his anti-virals. I took precautions when I was with him, we didn't kiss, didn't share food or drinks, and when I slept in the same bed with him I slept on my hoodie instead of on his pillow. I'm still concerned I didn't do enough to protect myself while the virus is shedding. I kissed him on the cheek a couple times and wonder if that was a bad idea. I think sleeping in the same bed with him might have been a bad idea. And we were talking and some spit from him hit me in the eye and I'm really really worried about that. Should I have just stayed away until the symptoms were totally gone? How long until I can kiss him? What should I be looking out for if I did have the virus shed onto my skin or eye? I tried calling a herpes hotline and the lines have been busy for days

Thank you

[Sam W]

Hi Begonias,

So, protected oral sex means using barriers during that activity. That would be dental dams to go over a vulva/vaginal opening and condoms to cover the penis. You can read more about those in this article:
All the Barriers! All the Time!

As far as precautions, it sounds like you two are being careful when he has an outbreak, which is a sound step. However, it sounds like it may also be helpful for the two of you to get a better sense of what poses a transmission risk and what doesn't, as that might decrease some of the anxiety you're feeling about this (for instance, you don't need to stay away from him entirely until the sores go away, and sharing a bed is not a way this infection is transmitted). The "how is it spread" section of this piece is a good starting place: The STI Files: Herpes . Does that information help at all?