obsession over possible ghoster ex?

[bikinksterboy]

Today, I sent a message to the number one of my exes (whom I technically never actually broke up with, we just had a long-distance relationship and lost contact with each other, and her number was dead for the longest time) gave me, and I got a response from a totally different person! For a long time, I had merely accepted that we would probably never meet again, but this whole incident has my mind racing again going down the rabbit hole of speculation about her, and having gone through this process before, I'm afraid I'll either go into a depression or get overly anxious again for the coming weeks. I know I can probably deal with a lot of this on my own, using the techniques I use for general anxiety, but how can I specifically ease my mind about her?

[Mo]

It's really unfortunate, but sometimes we do have experiences with people where there isn't great closure; people lose touch, move, change numbers, etc. and someone who was really important just isn't there for whatever reason. It could be that this person lost your number and isn't able to reach you if she wants to, you never know! Do you feel like there are unresolved issues or feelings hanging around that are making it harder to deal with not having any way to contact her now?
If you feel like you have a lot of feelings about her or the relationship that are cropping up now, it might help to do some writing or journaling about those feelings just to get them out there. Sometimes I find that writing things down helps exorcise them from my mind a bit, or at least lesson the intensity of those feelings.

[bikinksterboy]

I think it's mainly because of how committed I am to my current relationship, things being the way they were that we never really broke up, I'm sort of afraid that some of those feelings will come back

[Heather]

Even if those feelings come back, I feel pretty confident you can manage them, and that this won't impede on your current relationship. Do you want to talk more about your specific fears around this?

(As a P.S, to this -- and recognizing that right this second you may not be up for it, given this post -- I was going to email you soon to ask if you might want to consider joining our volunteer team. I've really appreciated having you as part of our boards community. Is that email on your boards account still current? Thanks!)

[bikinksterboy]

(yeah, that email is still active, and right now I don't know but we can talk more over email or PM)

[Heather]

No problem, thanks!

[bikinksterboy]

(I think that I might be in a place now to at least try out the whole volunteer thing btw)

[Siân]

Amazing! I'll make sure Heather knows and they can talk it through with you

[Heather]

Whoohoo! I'd love to talk with you about it. Is the email you registered with still the right one for you? If not, drop me a line at h.corinnaATscarleteenDOTcom?

[bikinksterboy]

yeah, I still use that email

[Heather]

Awesome! I'l drop you a line on Monday! Thanks!

[bikinksterboy]

(uh, so what's the current status of that?)

[Heather]

I left you an email response this past Monday.

[bikinksterboy]

ah, I just found it; I didn't see it before. thanks!