I’m confused about a couple of things

[Jessyjess]

So first off I’m 20 I feel like I’m asexual I’m not particularly attracted to men or women like I can find them attractive but only aesthetically and not in a sexual way. That being said I’m horny a lot. I try to masturbate but it’s sometimes distracting when I don’t picture anything in particular. There are fetishes I have but in my fantasies there’s never a person just like a blob of of one and then I get side tracked thinking about it and then I’m no longer aroused and when that doesn’t happen I end up having to pee before I feel pleasure pretty much every time even if I pee before. I also have basically no experience with sexual activity I’m a virgin and the most I’ve done is kissed someone I’ve had most of my education on sex come from google so I’m not sure if I’m doing something wrong or I need to talk to a doctor about it. I’d rather figure out how to masturbate before I try and have sex and I’ve been struggling for about 2 years now... it’s not the biggest deal to me but it’d be nice to know how it feels to successfully do it.

[Siân]

Hi Jessyjess!

Welcome to the boards

I don't think that there is anything wrong with you. It's perfectly normal to find people attractive in an abstract way and not in a sexual way, whether that's because you haven't met anyone yet who interests you that way, or because it's just not your thing full stop. It's perfectly normal to experience arousal, have a go at masturbating and then change your mind. It's perfectly normal to have fantasies where the other people there (if there are others there at all) are more a vague idea of a person than a specific vision of anyone in particular.

A lot of us don't get a good sex ed and have to find information for ourselves - you've made a great start on that coming here! I hope you also get a chance to look around the main site at some of our articles. This one might be a good place to start: Going solo: the basics of masturbation. What do you think ?

If sounds like you're feeling a lot of distraction when you try maturbation - I wonder if that's coming from ideas that you have to feel a certan way or do a particular thing? Those kinds of ideas are common, but they come with a lot of pressure, which of course makes it harder to relax, experiment and enjoy! What do you think? How much are you just trying things to see how it feels, without needing it to be any particular thing?