i don't know how to masturbate?

[chillinoutmebox]

i'm 15 turning 16. most of my friends (as far as i know) don't have any issues with masturbation, and some of them are even having sex. and then there's me, confused and unsure of what i'm doing wrong? i've never experienced an orgasm and it's SO frustrating, the other night i literally cried because i'm so sexually frustrated by this!

i guess it feels fine when i'm touching my clit but it doesn't feel like out of this world or anything and i literally don't feel anything if i try fingering myself. basically i suppose i'm desperately asking what to do? are there any tips on what i should try to make myself feel good? i'm willing to try anything! i feel weird being almost 16 and i can't even masturbate. what's wrong with me?!

[Siân]

Hi!

Welcome to the boards

You know, what you are describing is not weird or surprising. Plenty of people take a while to figure out what feels good for them when they masturbate. I hear that you are finding this super frustrating and upsetting, and that is probably putting pressure on you to feel a particular thing. Unfortunately, we're most likely to experience arousal and pleasure when we are feeling relaxed and don't have a particular goal in mind - so that pressure is only making it harder to enjoy yourself! Does that sound right?

It sounds like this might be a good time to give yourself a bit of a break, and when you come to try masturbating again see if you can really just relax and explore your whole body with a dose of curiosity and "let's see what happens". What do you think?

We've got this article on masturbation, which I think you might like: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation.