Teasing

[DArwin]

Hello
I was wondering if anyone had any good advice for how to tease someone?

[al]

Hi DArwin,

Can you explain your question a bit more? If I had to make a guess I'd say you're talking about teasing someone in a sexual way, but I'd just like to be sure.

[DArwin]

Yes I mean teasing in a sexual way

[Mo]

This is something that's really going to depend on the person you're wanting to tease, what the dynamic you have with them is, and if they even like it at all. Some people enjoy sexual teasing and some don't! It is a kind of sexual behavior, so the same sorts of considerations you'd want to keep in mind around consent for other sexual activities applies here!

If you're wanting to do this with someone you're already intimate with, you can absolutely talk with them about teasing and see how they feel about it; if they're up for it, what sorts of ways you might tease them is going to depend on the kinds of sexual or physical contact they enjoy or what feels most arousing to them. One example could be giving a partner occasional sexual touches or comments in a situation where you know you won't be able to or don't want to engage in other sexual activities any time soon. Again, the specifics really depend on what someone is receptive to and what feels enjoyable to them!
If you're looking to have a sexual-teasing dynamic with someone you aren't already sexual with, I wouldn't recommend jumping into that before establishing that it's something they're ok with and also want to be taking part in.

I know this is all very general advice; if you have any more detail about your particular situation and want some more specific thoughts based on that, feel free to give us those extra details so we can know where to start.

[DArwin]

In this particular situation, I am dating the person I want to tease and she is ok with it. The main point or reason I want to tease her is to build her up and get her excite for our time together Valentines day and to try something new with me

[Heather]

So what you're asking about is building anticipation!

Mostly, the way to do that is just by doing little bits to remind the person they could have sexy-times coming up on a date (if they want it), with your words or your actions. If it's a specific thing you both know you're already both into trying, you can get more specific about the little bits/hints you drop.

Like Mo says, this can be in touch -- maybe you touch them in a way that's suggestive of what you both want to do, but isn't that whole thing -- or by telling them things in person, in text or otherwise. Make sense?

[DArwin]

what are some ways I could try hints visual like with what I wear? I think I understand what you're saying.

[DArwin]

so Im just supposed to touch them and say suggestive. How exactly do I do that? I don't know what to say

[DArwin]

she just doesn't seem to get excited when I tease her, maybe she's not as receptive to it as I am

[Jacob]

Hi Darwin!

You said earlier she's 'ok with it'... do you have much idea what she wants from this? It's something you could ask her.

Being suggestive and touchy out of the blue can also feel really intimidating, so if she has given signs that she isn't receptive... which is what you are saying... I would stop that now as doing something someone doesn't like is just going to make them feel crappy and weird. Which I don't think is how you want to make her feel!

[DArwin]

No she told me she wants it and likes that I try just that I guess I don't do it right

[Siân]

It sounds like maybe it's time to talk to her a bit more about what she DOES like and enjoy when it comes to teasing!

Probably you're not doing anything wrong, it just doesn't happen to be the thing that works best for her; rather than put in all this effort and not have it received well it would probably be less stressful and more fun for both of you if you have a chat about what kinds of teasing work for her and for you. What do you think?

[DArwin]

I think this so good. Thank you