Problems keeping erections
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- not a newbie
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- Age: 23
- Primary language: English
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Problems keeping erections
Hello!
I want to ask for any good tips to not lose an erection because of performance anxiety, and getting caught and just stress in general. Sorry to ask so many question. Thank you in advances for your responses Have a wonderful day
I want to ask for any good tips to not lose an erection because of performance anxiety, and getting caught and just stress in general. Sorry to ask so many question. Thank you in advances for your responses Have a wonderful day
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- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 785
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- Age: 34
- Awesomeness Quotient: I ask ALLLLL the questions
- Primary language: English
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- Sexual identity: Figuring it out
- Location: UK
Re: Problems keeping erections
Hey!
You've already pinpointed one of the big things that can prevent erections from staying around - stress. It sounds to me like focusing on the "do I have an erection or not" question is probably only going to make the answer to that question a "no" more often.
With a lot of things when it comes to sex, focusing on a goal - like erection, or orgasm, or delaying orgasm - only makes you less likely to reach that goal. But that's ok! Great sex isn't about goals anyway, it's about feeling good things with someone. It sounds like your worries about this are keeping you from enjoying your time with your partner, but really it's totally normal. How about you see if you can focus less on erection and more on all the sexual activities that you can do with or without an erection, and how that feels?
Heather wrote an advice column about this too, which you might like to read: No erection four times now: what can I do?. What do you think?
You've already pinpointed one of the big things that can prevent erections from staying around - stress. It sounds to me like focusing on the "do I have an erection or not" question is probably only going to make the answer to that question a "no" more often.
With a lot of things when it comes to sex, focusing on a goal - like erection, or orgasm, or delaying orgasm - only makes you less likely to reach that goal. But that's ok! Great sex isn't about goals anyway, it's about feeling good things with someone. It sounds like your worries about this are keeping you from enjoying your time with your partner, but really it's totally normal. How about you see if you can focus less on erection and more on all the sexual activities that you can do with or without an erection, and how that feels?
Heather wrote an advice column about this too, which you might like to read: No erection four times now: what can I do?. What do you think?
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 145
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:32 pm
- Age: 23
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: He
- Sexual identity: Heterosexual
- Location: California
Re: Problems keeping erections
Hello!
Thank you I think that this will be very helpful if I have any more issues I will come back her after reading the column and will try to focus on enjoyment for me and my partner
Thank you I think that this will be very helpful if I have any more issues I will come back her after reading the column and will try to focus on enjoyment for me and my partner
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