virginity

[biiiiiiffy]

I lost my virginity on Saturday night and I bled but I'm not sure how much because it was dark and I was in someone else's house so we left at 5am and it was still dark. However, I did hurt a lot and he couldnt fully fit inside me and we had to stop and I just masturbated and I bled and I don't know what to do, is this normal or should I see a doctor?

[Heather]

I'm sure everything will be okay.

Can you give me a sense of how much bleeding we're talking about -- are you using pads for it: if so, how often are you filling one, if you are? Too, in both these cases (with the sex with a partner and the masturbation) were you using lubricant?

I would like to make sure you know that if anything sexual hurts, you always want to stop. Sex is not supposed to hurt, not the first time or ANY time, not any kind of sex. If and when it does, we don't want to keep going, we want to stop or do something different that doesn't hurt. We can talk about that more, too, including how to tell partners who don't know they're supposed to stop when you say something hurts, not keep going, if you'd like.