Dates

[ballerina99]

So I’ve had this very flirty thing going with this girl since October and I’m pretty sure if I were to ask her out she’d be interested, but I’ve never asked a girl out before and I’m wondering how to go about it? Is it okay to do it over text or is that lame? Is there a way to respond if she says no that won’t make it awkward?

[Sam W]

Hi ballerina99,

How you ask her out depends a lot on how you think she'd respond to certain approaches and what approaches you're most comfortable with. So, if doing it via text feels comfortable to you and you don't think she'd have an issue with it, you could go with that. Too, if you want to ask her in person, you could write out what you want to say ahead of time so that you feel more prepared.

There's no response that is guaranteed to not make things awkward, but there are a few things that will make it easier to cope if she says no. You're actually doing the first one, in that you're thinking about how you want to respond if she turns you down. Having that planned out ahead of time can help you feel less blindsided by a "no" and keep you from reacting in ways you regret. In terms of what to say in the moment, as long as you respect her answer and don't make her responsible for whatever emotions that "no" brings up (for instance, if it makes you sad it's okay to seek comfort from someone, but that someone can't be her) you should be okay. And even if things do get awkward, if the friendship is something you both want to continue, odds are there will be a way to recover from that awkward. Does that all make sense?

[ballerina99]

Yes, thank you so much!!! I took your advice and asked her and she said yes! She said she’d actually wanted to ask me out for a while, so I’m glad one of us finally did! Thanks again for the help!!

[Mo]

How exciting!