Five Years Ago (getting some perspective)

[Sam W]

Something I see causing anxiety for some folks is the feeling that if they don't figure out what they're going to do with their lives RIGHT NOW, they're setting themselves up for failure. But the fact of the matter is life seldom goes exactly as planned and that is, usually, an okay or even good thing. So, I thought it would be cool if we shared examples of what, five years ago, we imagined our life would be like five years in the future (AKA now). How are they different from what we planned or assumed? Did anything come out how we expected?

For instance, five years ago I was just finishing up my first quarter of college. And I had no intention of ever pursuing a graduate education. Sitting here now, I'm in the midst of the very same grad school applications I swore I'd never do, because certain things changed.

How about y'all?

[Kela]

five years ago...! wow, that's a while.
I turned twenty last Saturday, so, lets see...I would have been fifteen!! :O
Really, at that time, I was focused on starting my GCSEs, and getting into college to do A Levels. To be completely honest, I never though in a million years I'd ever have a boyfriend, let alone a year and a half relationship. Also, I guess I was kinda thinking of going to uni, but that idea ended pretty quickly, so five years later I still haven't gone, and to be honest, I don't really plan to!!

I never expected for things to turn out as they did, especially when it came to my anxiety and the turn it took for the worst over the past two years. it seems funny to say it but I genuinely feel I am blessed to have had the relationships I've had, to have my life take the path it has. it was an awful experience, don't get me wrong, but it has shaped me and moulded me and I feel it has made me the person I am today...on my way to the person I want to be. X

[Johanna]

My life has been very crazy, and things never really work out the way I plan for them to. So really, I could be answering this question based on the plans I had this time last year

But okay. Fall of 2009, I was doing an exchange semester at Indiana University, I had just gotten out of a 5-year-relationship and I had fled to the US from an abusive living situation with a former close friend. At that time, I was focused on my MA, which I had just started, and I was writing my first application to an academic conference. I had plans to get my PhD after completing the MA, and I was dead-set on getting into a PhD program in the States. Fast forward to now, I am finishing up a PhD in Germany, and I am married to a person I had not even met yet in 2009. I feel very good now about the way things turned out, but for example accepting that I could never afford to do my PhD in the US as an international student was hard.

[Keda]

Thankyou for making this thread, Sam! I'm at a point in life where I really don't know what I'll be doing even a year from now, and it's difficult when everyone around me seems to have such a tidy plan, and expects me too as well. I always like hearing about people's career paths especially, as you hear right from GCSE options at age 13 that "This decision will be a key determinant of what you do with your life", and it's comforting to hear real examples of when that's absolutely not been the case.

[Kaizen]

Five years ago I was 15, almost 16, a sophomore in high school. Probably my greatest fear at the time was failing my test to get my learner's permit, actually learning to drive a car (I was terrified I would crash), and taking my road test to get my license. None of this turned out to be any problem at all. Especially the road test, since I took Driver's Ed through school and tested with the same man who had given me my road lessons, and he helpfully just had me drive and didn't tell me when he was starting the test portion so nerves wouldn't throw me off!

At the time having a boyfriend was not even on my mind. The terror that I'd missed my chance with my "one true love" came a couple years later. So fifteen-year-old me would probably be pleased to hear that I'm now in a relationship of a year and a half and glad that I found someone who had all the things I wanted in a guy, but not astonished and dubious like eighteen-year-old me.

Academically I'm about where I expected to be, although I didn't know what college I would go to at the time. I think mostly fifteen-year-old me would be shocked that A) I manage to do things like take care of myself at college, make "official" phone calls when necessary, and talk to people about things like filling out work study forms, and B) actually have some friends who I feel comfortable asking to hang out with me.

[Keda]

I just found this on tumblr, which seems to fit quite neatly into this thread: http://amurrrka.tumblr.com/post/1034211 ... wers-would

[ratperson]

Five years ago, I thought I was going to be a vet tech, but I wasn't sure, because horses still seemed like a good option. But I was also not succeeding in the horse-riding respect as much as I would've liked (didn't know at that point that I have anxiety, and that was a huge part of my lack of success). I was being horribly bullied in school, expected to do perfectly at classes, hanging out with some of the 'wrong' people (but they led me to the right person, so yay!), and overall felt completely out of the loop with everything. I was torn between not caring about others' opinions and desperately wanting true friends (and having two but not being in touch with them quite enough). I was single and very unhappy with it, also confused because my brain confuses physical attraction with the mutual agreement of friendship, and even when I didn't want to I was falling for all the guys, even the taken ones, and then being unhappy with the not-returned affections.

Now, I'm going to be doing my senior year of college - to be a vet tech - this fall. I'm finishing up an internship now and loving every second of it. No longer riding horses because of various factors (anxiety, endometriosis causing a lot of pain afterwards, a concussion which I rode after I was healed from but which has put me a bit off riding, and lack of time). I figured out I'm autistic, which explained the people I hung out with in high school and still do in college (so many of us are neurodivergent it's not funny), as well as the bullying I had, the fact that I felt so pressured to do perfectly in classes, and why I've always felt out of the loop. I have true friends now, because I found people based on shared experiences that were fun and not school-mandated. I've figured out how to tell the difference between attraction and friendship-feelings, realized the confusion goes for those of all genders, and been able to ignore it for the most part (as I'm with someone now and don't enjoy the happy-attracted-friend feeling, so I simply get to know the person better and that makes the euphoria of a new friend and potential mate go away). I'm a lot happier than I was!

...wow, five years was a long time ago. 10th grade, the year I turned 16 (and in the fall started dating my current boyfriend)...this has shown perspective. Thanks for starting this thread!!