I'm talking all types of hair, be that pubic hair, leg hair, the hair on your head, or somewhere else entirely.
I bring this up because I made a conscious choice to stop shaving my armpits after a teammate of mine apologized in the middle of stretching for her (barely) unshaved pits. So, I deliberately stopped shaving a few days before each practice. And then I realized that I'd mostly been shaving them out of habit, and that I really didn't care that much if they were hairy and stopped bothering with it at all (not shaving isn't particularly notable in my social circles because they're queer/feminist, but in the small town where I live it's much more of a "statement" for a woman to do so).
How about y'all? What do find influences your choice to shave or not shave certain parts of your body?
What influences your hair/shaving habits?
-
Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
What influences your hair/shaving habits?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
Arasia
- not a newbie
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:46 pm
- Age: 31
- Pronouns: she/her
- Location: Utah
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
Step aside people, I've gotta get up on my soapbox.
I quit shaving about 6/7 years ago. If body hair wasn't natural and normal for women, we wouldn't grow it! So much judgement is put on women based on whether or not they have a little fuzz on their legs or arms, and it's ridiculous. I've gotten used to my hairy legs and armpits, and have no problem exposing them in public. Other people, however, definitely notice. Once, a guy told me no man would ever want me because I don't shave. (I'm married now, screw you guy!!).
Interestingly, children are the ones who react the most often! They don't have the filter adults have, but even very young children (4 and 5) know that women are "supposed" to be hairless. So when little kids see my armpits, they ask me why I have pit hair.
I remember when I was a little kid myself, my mom told me stories of a professor she had in college who had hairy armpits and wore tank tops--and we laughed at how absurd we thought she was. Oh, how times have changed!
Interestingly, there is ONE area I am self-conscious of, that I shave--between my eyebrows. Years ago, when I was in high school, I was cripplingly self-conscious. I used to post pictures of myself online, asking people if I was pretty or not. My eyebrows were kind of bushy, and people on the internet were merciless about it--they ripped into me about my eyebrows. And, honestly--even though it's hypocritical, considering my views on shaving--I have plucked and shaved my eyebrows since then.
I quit shaving about 6/7 years ago. If body hair wasn't natural and normal for women, we wouldn't grow it! So much judgement is put on women based on whether or not they have a little fuzz on their legs or arms, and it's ridiculous. I've gotten used to my hairy legs and armpits, and have no problem exposing them in public. Other people, however, definitely notice. Once, a guy told me no man would ever want me because I don't shave. (I'm married now, screw you guy!!).
Interestingly, children are the ones who react the most often! They don't have the filter adults have, but even very young children (4 and 5) know that women are "supposed" to be hairless. So when little kids see my armpits, they ask me why I have pit hair.
I remember when I was a little kid myself, my mom told me stories of a professor she had in college who had hairy armpits and wore tank tops--and we laughed at how absurd we thought she was. Oh, how times have changed!
Interestingly, there is ONE area I am self-conscious of, that I shave--between my eyebrows. Years ago, when I was in high school, I was cripplingly self-conscious. I used to post pictures of myself online, asking people if I was pretty or not. My eyebrows were kind of bushy, and people on the internet were merciless about it--they ripped into me about my eyebrows. And, honestly--even though it's hypocritical, considering my views on shaving--I have plucked and shaved my eyebrows since then.
-
Kaizen
- not a newbie
- Posts: 103
- Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:52 pm
- Age: 30
- Awesomeness Quotient: I've kept a journal for thirteen years so far
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Straight
- Location: Albany, NY
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
It's mostly a texture thing for me. I love how smooth my legs feel when they're clean-shaven, and I don't like putting deodorant on a lot of hair. So I always shave under my arms every few days, and I shave my legs pretty much every shower in the summer. (In the winter I shave my legs less, because I'm mostly wearing pants or tights so not feeling my bare legs against each other, but I still do it maybe once a week so it doesn't become a huge ordeal when I finally decide to do it.) And I don't like the look of hair poking out the side of underwear or swimsuits, so I shave just the hair that would poke out.
The hair on my head... I keep it pretty long, and I guess that's a texture thing too. I like playing with it and I like feeling it on my back and shoulders.
I used to shave the strip of hair down my stomach, but then I read something (a novel, I assume, don't remember what it was) where a girl described seeing a guy shirtless and mentioned how sexy that line of hair was on him, and I got indignant as to why it "couldn't" be sexy on a woman and stopped shaving mine. And was vindicated when my boyfriend (when I started dating him, a few years later) mentioned he liked it.
The hair on my head... I keep it pretty long, and I guess that's a texture thing too. I like playing with it and I like feeling it on my back and shoulders.
I used to shave the strip of hair down my stomach, but then I read something (a novel, I assume, don't remember what it was) where a girl described seeing a guy shirtless and mentioned how sexy that line of hair was on him, and I got indignant as to why it "couldn't" be sexy on a woman and stopped shaving mine. And was vindicated when my boyfriend (when I started dating him, a few years later) mentioned he liked it.
-
Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9703
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
I'm going to limit this to only talking about some body hair since, as the big boss here, I think it might get too weird otherwise (right?). 
I was first asked to shave (armpits and legs) by my mother back in the early 1980s when I started getting body hair. I really didn't want to, so what I did was basically only shave when I couldn't hide that part of my body. Even though I was never a big fan of hers, I remember feeling secretly validated by photos of a younger Madonna that came out somewhere in those years that showed her with unshaved underarms, and as much hair (mine is pretty thick, not some delicate wisp) as I had, no less.
When I left that house in my mid-teens, I stopped shaving under my arms totally. I only have in the decades since on pretty rare occasions, and mostly that's been about work-related things (not this job). I almost did again in the early 90s at a job where they made me -- no kidding -- wear long sleeves and pants in the summer since I didn't shave (but made no such requirements of the male teacher I was working with at the time, because of freaking course). But I was just not willing to give that up for that bunch of you-know-what. I also have very sensitive skin and it's painful for me when hair grows back in there, having underarm hair is part of my gender expression, and I find that -- kind of like I feel when I take my glasses off, since I've worn them most of my life -- I just don't really feel like myself without it. I've also had some partners with a very emotional attachment to it over the years, though I don't think that has much to do with my choices.
I do often shave my lower legs, mostly for what maybe seems like a super-weird reason, which is that I just don't like the particular hair pattern on my legs. For whatever reason, my leg hair comes in like a Clydesdale horse's, with very little on my calves and a thick ring of it around my ankles. It almost looks deliberate, and is apparently weird enough that strangers have asked me when I haven't removed it if I do it on purpose. I've never had such direct questions about my underarm or any other hair from people I don't know, and I really don't like that kind of attention put on me if I can avoid it, so I mostly just avoid it with a razor in places and seasons when that hair'd get seen.
Like Kaizen, I also do like how my legs feel smooth, especially how to feels when fabric, like from pants, is touching them. In a similar vein, I've always liked how my underarm hair feels, too, so it's probably safe to say that tactile sensations inform these choices for me to some degree.
I should probably mention that on the whole, my body hair is pretty light and pretty fine, and I'm a white, average-sized person. I recognize that there's privilege in that, and that it's hard to say what kinds of choices I'd make around this stuff if I didn't have the privilege I do. I do know that it would probably incline me less to leave my underarms alone, for instance, just because I might have to give up or deal with more crap to do that.
I was first asked to shave (armpits and legs) by my mother back in the early 1980s when I started getting body hair. I really didn't want to, so what I did was basically only shave when I couldn't hide that part of my body. Even though I was never a big fan of hers, I remember feeling secretly validated by photos of a younger Madonna that came out somewhere in those years that showed her with unshaved underarms, and as much hair (mine is pretty thick, not some delicate wisp) as I had, no less.
When I left that house in my mid-teens, I stopped shaving under my arms totally. I only have in the decades since on pretty rare occasions, and mostly that's been about work-related things (not this job). I almost did again in the early 90s at a job where they made me -- no kidding -- wear long sleeves and pants in the summer since I didn't shave (but made no such requirements of the male teacher I was working with at the time, because of freaking course). But I was just not willing to give that up for that bunch of you-know-what. I also have very sensitive skin and it's painful for me when hair grows back in there, having underarm hair is part of my gender expression, and I find that -- kind of like I feel when I take my glasses off, since I've worn them most of my life -- I just don't really feel like myself without it. I've also had some partners with a very emotional attachment to it over the years, though I don't think that has much to do with my choices.
I do often shave my lower legs, mostly for what maybe seems like a super-weird reason, which is that I just don't like the particular hair pattern on my legs. For whatever reason, my leg hair comes in like a Clydesdale horse's, with very little on my calves and a thick ring of it around my ankles. It almost looks deliberate, and is apparently weird enough that strangers have asked me when I haven't removed it if I do it on purpose. I've never had such direct questions about my underarm or any other hair from people I don't know, and I really don't like that kind of attention put on me if I can avoid it, so I mostly just avoid it with a razor in places and seasons when that hair'd get seen.
Like Kaizen, I also do like how my legs feel smooth, especially how to feels when fabric, like from pants, is touching them. In a similar vein, I've always liked how my underarm hair feels, too, so it's probably safe to say that tactile sensations inform these choices for me to some degree.
I should probably mention that on the whole, my body hair is pretty light and pretty fine, and I'm a white, average-sized person. I recognize that there's privilege in that, and that it's hard to say what kinds of choices I'd make around this stuff if I didn't have the privilege I do. I do know that it would probably incline me less to leave my underarms alone, for instance, just because I might have to give up or deal with more crap to do that.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
-
Alice O
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 326
- Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:13 pm
- Age: 31
- Awesomeness Quotient: I'm really good at taking naps.
- Primary language: Engish
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: hetero
- Location: New York City
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
Oooo great question Sam! I loved reading everyone's responses.
Not personally feeling up for going in-detail about my pubic hair in this moment, but I have strong feelings about my arm hand leg foot mustache and armpit hair that I'm very up for sharing!
I am naturally quite a hairy person, and have dark brown/black hair so it is quite noticeable. Growing up I remember getting made fun of for my leg hair, because it was so much darker and thicker than most other girls. I remember being in 6th grade when my mom let me shave them for the first time. I was going to a Bat Mitzvah and was wearing a skirt and really wanted to have shaved legs. I felt so good after! I had a feeling then, that I very much still have now, which was that I could finally "see" my legs. For whatever reason my legs felt (and feel) like what was beneath the hair. While it's not *fur* my hair is dark and thick and so my legs look really different when it's there! Then a few years ago I was in the woods for awhile and I wanted to have the existential experience of growing my leg hair out beyond just stubble, which I hadn't done since that fateful Bat Mitzvah day. I was (and am) disappointed that I really didn't like it. I think because it's what is "natural" I feel bad rejecting it, but I also want to do what makes me feel best!
I have an easier relationship at this point with the other parts of my body hair. Growing up I was also really ashamed of how hairy my arms are but now I love it and it feels like a really defining part of myself. Long legs hairy arms and freckles! I was especially embarrassed of how the arm hair continued a bit onto my hands, enough that I shaved the back of my hands in middle school. But now I truly never think about it.
In terms of other body hair, I have pretty specific grooming habits. I don't shave my armpit hair but I do trim it juuust the right amount because that's what I think looks the best on me and it also makes me feel sexy. I tweeze my eyebrows and above my upper lip every few weeks. When I shave my legs I shave my toes. These are the things I've settled on (for now) that make me feel my best but also aren't too much work or money to keep up
Not personally feeling up for going in-detail about my pubic hair in this moment, but I have strong feelings about my arm hand leg foot mustache and armpit hair that I'm very up for sharing!
I am naturally quite a hairy person, and have dark brown/black hair so it is quite noticeable. Growing up I remember getting made fun of for my leg hair, because it was so much darker and thicker than most other girls. I remember being in 6th grade when my mom let me shave them for the first time. I was going to a Bat Mitzvah and was wearing a skirt and really wanted to have shaved legs. I felt so good after! I had a feeling then, that I very much still have now, which was that I could finally "see" my legs. For whatever reason my legs felt (and feel) like what was beneath the hair. While it's not *fur* my hair is dark and thick and so my legs look really different when it's there! Then a few years ago I was in the woods for awhile and I wanted to have the existential experience of growing my leg hair out beyond just stubble, which I hadn't done since that fateful Bat Mitzvah day. I was (and am) disappointed that I really didn't like it. I think because it's what is "natural" I feel bad rejecting it, but I also want to do what makes me feel best!
I have an easier relationship at this point with the other parts of my body hair. Growing up I was also really ashamed of how hairy my arms are but now I love it and it feels like a really defining part of myself. Long legs hairy arms and freckles! I was especially embarrassed of how the arm hair continued a bit onto my hands, enough that I shaved the back of my hands in middle school. But now I truly never think about it.
In terms of other body hair, I have pretty specific grooming habits. I don't shave my armpit hair but I do trim it juuust the right amount because that's what I think looks the best on me and it also makes me feel sexy. I tweeze my eyebrows and above my upper lip every few weeks. When I shave my legs I shave my toes. These are the things I've settled on (for now) that make me feel my best but also aren't too much work or money to keep up
-
OhHeckDatGurl
- not a newbie
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2017 6:59 am
- Age: 27
- Awesomeness Quotient: I make GoodWill clothes look sexy.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/Her
- Sexual identity: Straight
- Location: America
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
I hate shaving.
The first time I shaved my legs was my first semester in college, and that was only because my parents made me. I remember crying while doing it in the shower. I remember being told how nice and smooth my legs were supposed to feel now, but I just remember that they didn't even feel like my legs anymore, and I hated it.
Now that I'm more independent, I really don't shave. I've always thought it funny that women are told to shave and have another way to "perfect their bodies" when men can leave their body hair be. So I just don't take part in it, and I don't shave.
Sometimes it makes me nervous to raise my hand in class and have everyone look at my pits, and sometimes I feel weird about being outed as the weird feminist girl, or as being gay, or otherwise looking gross. But ultimately I shake these feelings off, because a) I already am a weird feminist girl and other people will just have to deal with that, b) I'm not gay, there's nothing wrong with being or even looking gay, and I know who I really am and that's all that matters and c) there's nothing gross about body hair except the stigma we attach to it.
The only exception, of course, is when I have to meet my parents face to face. My mom checks. So I shave. And then I wait an agonizingly long time for the hair to grow back and to feel normal again.
Sorry this was long. I guess I'm just glad I got an excuse to share.
The first time I shaved my legs was my first semester in college, and that was only because my parents made me. I remember crying while doing it in the shower. I remember being told how nice and smooth my legs were supposed to feel now, but I just remember that they didn't even feel like my legs anymore, and I hated it.
Now that I'm more independent, I really don't shave. I've always thought it funny that women are told to shave and have another way to "perfect their bodies" when men can leave their body hair be. So I just don't take part in it, and I don't shave.
Sometimes it makes me nervous to raise my hand in class and have everyone look at my pits, and sometimes I feel weird about being outed as the weird feminist girl, or as being gay, or otherwise looking gross. But ultimately I shake these feelings off, because a) I already am a weird feminist girl and other people will just have to deal with that, b) I'm not gay, there's nothing wrong with being or even looking gay, and I know who I really am and that's all that matters and c) there's nothing gross about body hair except the stigma we attach to it.
The only exception, of course, is when I have to meet my parents face to face. My mom checks. So I shave. And then I wait an agonizingly long time for the hair to grow back and to feel normal again.
Sorry this was long. I guess I'm just glad I got an excuse to share.
-
potatochipeater
- not a newbie
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:36 am
- Age: 45
- Awesomeness Quotient: listening
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: him/he
- Sexual identity: n/a
- Location: canada
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
I know this topic is meant for females and don't want anyone here upset with a male weighing in. I have to tell you for what it's worth that it's YOUR hair and YOUR preferences that matter. If a guy can't handle body hair and unshaven legs than he's not worthy of being with you or mature enough all around. Honestly, I'm 39 male and it's the last thing I would care about in a relationship or in general. As for the now married person above who had someone say "nobody would want to be with you" you ought have corrected him that it's the opposite 
Like someone else said if it weren't meant to be there that there would be no purpose for it. The fact that it is means it's normal. It's just that society and culture have the incorrect view about normal and attractive.
I think the problem with most males is that they see unshaven legs and armpits in movies, advertising, commercials and variety of other places and see that as normal from young age. They aren't taught differently. I would mention the neither region except to say a lot of immature males (teens etc) see pornography and see how the performers look and think that and not body hair is normal. It's definitely a problem with mainstream media and the message that's being sent. Believe me, if a guy makes an issue over hair than you have more than just an issue about it going on. It ought to be a moot point.
Like someone else said if it weren't meant to be there that there would be no purpose for it. The fact that it is means it's normal. It's just that society and culture have the incorrect view about normal and attractive.I think the problem with most males is that they see unshaven legs and armpits in movies, advertising, commercials and variety of other places and see that as normal from young age. They aren't taught differently. I would mention the neither region except to say a lot of immature males (teens etc) see pornography and see how the performers look and think that and not body hair is normal. It's definitely a problem with mainstream media and the message that's being sent. Believe me, if a guy makes an issue over hair than you have more than just an issue about it going on. It ought to be a moot point.
-
milkwithice
- newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 9:12 pm
- Age: 20
- Awesomeness Quotient: I can be friends with just about anyone.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: bisexual
- Location: California
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
I like having my pits hairless because they sweat so much more when hairy. I shave my legs when I have to show them because ot looks nicer than my natural ape legs. As for pubic hair, I trim it with scissors because it burns if I shave it off.
-
kelly4ansers
- newbie
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sun Apr 28, 2019 7:26 pm
- Age: 18
- Awesomeness Quotient: school is cool
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: Bi
- Location: L.A
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
I have a tiny patch of hair right above my crack i shave it off as soon as i see some i think it looks better if my panties are tight
-
millstreet
- not a newbie
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Fri May 03, 2019 9:12 pm
- Age: 26
- Awesomeness Quotient: Courage to stand up for what's right
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Location: Kingston, ON
Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
I will shave my underarms because it's convenient for me and I find I sweat more if I don't hehe. I previously bought into the "women should be hairless" mentality but I haven't been shaving my legs all winter because my partner is very supportive of me making those decisions for myself which has made me feel better about it. I have tried out Brazilian waxes for pubic hair and really liked it just it cost a little too much to be affordable on a student budget. In summary - it varies based on season, how much disposable income I have, and my current mood!
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post