I felt terrified when I masturbated

[Prettydogsnot]

This sounds weird but when I tried to touch myself, I thought about a person I don't think I ever met before. It was only fragments of their face since I can never piece them together. When I continued I felt scared, and almost started to scream out of terror when I kept on trying to masturbate. This is strange because this never happened to me before, and I felt so disgusted with myself afterwards.

[Heather]

I'm sorry that you has this experience: it certainly sounds creepy and unpleasant.

I'm not sure why you're feeling disgusted with yourself, because I don't see anything disgusting you have done here. It sounds like you simply were fantasizing in a pretty vague way, then something about how it was going or felt turned and you got scared for whatever reason. That can happen with our thoughts or feelings sometimes. It also is okay to masturbate or try to when having any number of feelings, including fear: there's not only one kind of feelings any of us are allowed to have with masturbation or sex with a partner. We're all allowed to be sexual while having the whole range of thoughts or feelings.

Are you looking for a specific kind of help or support with this?