2.5 year relationship. No sex. Advice Misc?

[Ffatho]

Been lurking here for a while, seems like there's some great advice going around, so thought I'd ask for some.

Been with girl for almost 3 years now. She's everything i ever wanted in a chica. 7/10 but makes up for it in wittiness, intelligence, fun to be with, loves to joke. Just one thing, won't have sex with me. Ofc I've tried many times, she makes excuses like not ready, might want to wait until marriage, not the right time, wants first time to be special, that sorta ****. I ain't about to cross boundaries, no means no to me, but 2.5 years is a damn long time to make a guy wait. Help me get it in brahs. It kills me that I have a girlfriend of 2.5 years and i'm still a virgin. No I won't cheat. I honestly don't know if I can wait until marriage... fuark. But I don't want to lose her at the same time. I just don't understand it, what am I doing wrong? Would love some female input as well but from the looks of it, seems like Misc is one huge sausage fest for the most part.

[Heather]

Hey there, welcome.

I'm not on board with approaches like "helping you get it in," because I don't think that way of framing all of this really presents your girlfriend as a whole person, and her body not as a vehicle for you, but as part of that whole person. And goodness knows we wouldn't suggest you or anyone else cross boundaries to get what you want: that's assault. We also wouldn't ever suggest you go behind someone's back you've agreed to be exclusive with rather than changing that agreement if and when you want to pursue sex with someone else.

But I certainly can understand feeling frustrated if you want to be in a sexual relationship with someone and have been waiting on that for two and a half years with the idea the relationship you're in is a sexual one but...well, it isn't actually. Is this just about intercourse, or is your girlfriend not wanting/into any of the ways people can have sex or be sexual together, like making out, oral sex, and so forth?