I’m really insecure. I need advice.

[hhewitt]

Hi so recently in the town i live in we had a parade and carnival, i seen some girls that my boyfriend goes to school with. He tells me i have nothing to worry about but they are way prettier then me. Is there anyway i can avoid theses feelings?

[Sam W]

Hi hhewitt,

Thank you for moving this from text! From our conversation there, it sounds like these feelings are tied to some deeper issues around your self-esteem. Can you give me a sense of how much (if any) exposure you've had to ideas like body positivity that talk about how all bodies are good bodies?

Too, it may help to look at how you could boost your confidence in other ways, and start finding places in your life to let your awesome qualities shine through. Are there things in your life that you really enjoy doing and that make you feel confident or proud when you do them?

With your boyfriend, do you have any reason to distrust him when he tells you there's nothing to worry about? Or is it more that you do trust him, but some part of your brain is telling you you're still not enough for him.

[hhewitt]

i barely have any body positivity. i grew up around my mom who barely had any her self. I try to look at myself and pick out the things u really like about me but there are barely anything. I don’t have a reason to not trust him. I just have had a bad past and people have betrayed me before.

[Sam W]

When you say you have a bad past, can you tell me a little more about what that involved?

Since it sounds like you didn't have a model for it (it's really common for both moms and daughters to struggle with body image), starting out with some really basic body positive stuff might be helpful. I'm going to give you a few articles to start with: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... bish_story, https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... hould_i_do, https://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather ... ofrightnow. Do you see anything in those articles that jumps out at you? Are there recommendations in them that you think you'd like to try?