trouble with fingering

[phantomdog]

hi all,

my boyfriend and i recently discovered how amazing it feels to finger me. however the past two times whenever he does it, i hear this kind of crunchy (??) sound, almost like bone is getting moved around and it really freaks me out, the feeling accompanied by it freaks me out too. i would experiment myself to see if it's just a matter of position / too much pressure, but it makes me super dysphoric to put my own fingers in me so. any idea what could be going on / any way to fix it? i really want to just be able to enjoy it without some brain buffoonery getting in the way. thank you :>

[al]

Hi there phantomdog,

Hmmm, I'm not entirely sure what's going on here. Do you experience any kind of pain while it's happening? You mentioned a feeling associated with it (I'm assuming that means an internal sensation of some kind) - could you potentially describe it more?
Have you talked about it with your boyfriend? Have the two of you experimented with different ways of him fingering you (different angles, positions, more lube, less forcefully, more slowly, etc) to get different results? That might be my next suggestion.
I would also put a quick note in there to say that bodies do all sorts of funny things all the time- not just when we're having sex- and that part of being physically intimate with someone means that you're around for all the burps and farts and hiccups and weird noises that their bodies will inevitably make, because, well, they're living organisms. Has your boyfriend said or done anything to make you self-conscious, or is it more something that feels confusing and potentially dysphoric all on its own?

[phantomdog]

it doesn’t hurt at all, just feels like something is getting pushed up that isn’t supposed to. i haven’t said anything, i just ask to stop whenever it happens and we do something else. he’s never said anything to make me feel bad / self conscious so i’d say the weirdness and confusion is probably the source.

[Sam W]

Hi phantomdog,

It certainly understandable that it's confusing, especially since it seems like a new development. When it's happened, did the sensation and the "crunching" start right as the finger went in, or did it start when it was deeper?

[phantomdog]

it only really happens once he strokes the g spot. today it didn't happen because he wasn't doing it very roughly, but it takes a bit of roughness to make it feel really good so

[Sam W]

Got it. Have you two tried seeing what happens if he uses a toy of some kind rather than his finger (with the caveat that if that makes you dysphoric please disregard it as a suggestion) to see if the noise no longer happens?

[RadiantRay]

This might seem too obvious, but you don't have a tampon or anything stuck inside your vagina? My suggestion - along with different positions, less fingers, etc. - would be to add lube. Spit will dry up and isn't going to give you what you need. I always go for a water-based lube! It washes out easily, is compatible with most toys, and is good for sensitive skin. It might need reapplied, but that's not difficult.
If these things aren't working, it might be worth it to go for a general checkup and mentioning it to your doctor. They should be able to tell you if it's anything to be concerned about but if you aren't in pain, then I personally wouldn't get worked up about it. But that's totally up to you!