Tinder Conversations

[shysinger21]

I joined Tinder on Friday, and I messaged one of my matches asking him a question, and he asked me the same question I asked him, but he will not message me back. I don't know what I should do. I have also realized that guys don't want to message me, and I don't know why. I also have sent messages to guys, but they have not replied.

[Sam W]

Hi shysinger,

It may be easiest to treat the non-responses the same way you would if you were trying to talk to the person face to face. That is, as a sign that they're not interested in you in that way. That can definitely feel like an ego blow, but it's going to be less frustrating in the long run than trying to divine whether their non-response means anything more complicated. Too, whether you're looking for a more casual partner or a longer term one, you want it to be someone who's eager and excited to talk with you, not someone you have to spend a bunch of time chasing down, you know?

With the not getting many messages, how do you feel about the profile you made for yourself? Do you feel like it describes you well and let's people know how awesome you are?

[shysinger21]

I was also wondering how I should start a conversation with a guy, so I can get them to keep talking to me.

[Siân]

A conversation on Tinder or one in real life?

Assuming you're talking about Tinder, the thing about dating platforms is that people tend not to be very invested in the interactions at the beginning, you kind of have to think about it as planting a whole bunch of seeds and seeing which ones grow. You can't force someone to pay attention, but personalised conversation starters that talk about something in someone's profile and ask open questions are often a good approach, especially when it's something you're excited about too - what do you think?

Also, have you had a think about Sam's questions about the profile you've created?