Relationship

[Padster09]

I'm 16 years old and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 9 months we are in a long distance relationship of 200+ miles and have meet as regularly as possible. My girlfriends best friend who is a female is bisexual and my girlfriend has told me that in the past that her best friend has said to her that if my girlfriend was bisexual she would defo want to go out with her. The first time I met my girlfriends friend I caught her looking at my girlfriends chest. And in hair and beauty today my girlfriend said that her best friend complemented her ass. My girlfriend has told me that she is 100% straight however I find it uncomfortable how her best friend talks to her and I have talked to my girlfriend about this but I don't want to choose who she can and can't be friends with.

[Sam W]

Hi Padster09,

It can definitely be uncomfortable when you feel like a partners' friend might be trying to flirt with them. When you talked to your girlfriend about this, how did that conversation go? How does she feel about her friends comments?

[Padster09]

The conversation didn't lead to much she said it was weird when she found out her friend like Sher which was a while ago. But today when she told me her friend said she had a nice ass she didn't seem to bothered by it which made me feel uncomfortable

[Sam W]

Got it. At a certain point, it may be best to take your cues from her about how to approach this. If she's not bothered by it, and you've already expressed your feelings about it to her, then there's not much you can do beyond trusting her to manage her friendships in the way that's comfortable for her. If this friend has a habit of making comments that are flirtation (or stealth flirtation) or otherwise pushing your girlfriends boundaries, that would be a slightly different conversation, but unless I'm reading things wrong that isn't what's happening.

You've mentioned feeling insecure about your relationship in past posts, due in part to the distance. Have you and your girlfriend talked about that at all?

[Padster09]

Update: my girlfriends best friend told my girlfriends friends she wanted my girlfriend to spit in her mouth in like a sexual way and that has made me feel very uncomfortable

[Heather]

Okay. So, how would you like to try and sort this out?

Do you want to talk directly to her best friend? How about talking to your girlfriend? If nothing else, I’m curious how *she* feels about this. Why is she sharing all this with you, and when she does, what does she say about her own feelings? Is she uncomfortable with this? Does she also understand that you are? If she does, can you two talk about how her telling you these things is making you uncomfortable and try and perhaps ask her not to keep sharing these things with you, and to create better boundaries?