I want to add my story on here.
I was sexually assaulted October 18, 2017. Coming back with friends and friends of friends from a Bruno Mars concert. Little family wagon, I was in the far back seat with an older boy I did not know but he was fun to be around with. He started touching me, initially I was okay with it, I enjoyed the attention from him. He was the first boy to put his hand up my shirt, I stupidly allowed that. But when he tried to reach under my skirt I could not do that, I slightly pushed him away and gave a dumb laugh. He tried a few more times, each time I was pushing him away but I was doing my best on not causing a scene. It was dark, the girls in front of me had headphones on and looking at their cell phones, the others in front of them didn't even notice us. But he kept trying, and he started whispering if he could finger me for a few minutes. I could either scream and cause an uproar and make everybody look at me like I was causing a problem, or I could just stop fighting over this. I let him do it, and I let him because I was tired of pushing him away and I didn't want to create a scene and make my friends wonder why I caused a problem.
That concert was my birthday present, something that my friends got me and somehow they kept it a secret. I just turned 14 a month prior, BIG Bruno Mars fan, and I was climbing the walls when I got that gift. In the end it was a gift I wished I never received.
A little personal here but it took me several months before I was able to just explore myself and enjoy myself again.
That is my story.
Me Too :(
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9725
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Me Too :(
I'm so sorry that someone did this to you, LaceyRose, but I am so glad that you felt able to let it out and talk about it.
How would you like to take this from here? Do you want to talk more about it, or talk about healing, or would you rather just leave this for now, because you mostly just wanted to get this out somewhere? <3
How would you like to take this from here? Do you want to talk more about it, or talk about healing, or would you rather just leave this for now, because you mostly just wanted to get this out somewhere? <3
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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LaceyRose
- not a newbie
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2019 10:12 pm
- Age: 21
- Awesomeness Quotient: I can run a mile in 5 minutes
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she
- Sexual identity: regular
- Location: Florida
Re: Me Too :(
thanks Heather. Adding my story was good enough. Maybe other girls on here can read this and know that screaming and causing a scene is okay.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9725
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Me Too :(
It certainly is. It's also deeply, deeply common for any of us to freeze when assault is happening to us (been there, and more than once), and to also obey all of the bullshit we have absorbed from being socialized as women or girls and to feel the way you felt in that moment: like you couldn't or shouldn't scream or cause a scene.
My friend Mona Eltahawy, who had already experienced sexual assault earlier in her life and was not able to fight back then, found herself able to do it later in life. You might find her story and what she has to say about it fortifying: https://stepfeed.com/this-egyptian-femi ... rious-1581
My friend Mona Eltahawy, who had already experienced sexual assault earlier in her life and was not able to fight back then, found herself able to do it later in life. You might find her story and what she has to say about it fortifying: https://stepfeed.com/this-egyptian-femi ... rious-1581
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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LaceyRose
- not a newbie
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2019 10:12 pm
- Age: 21
- Awesomeness Quotient: I can run a mile in 5 minutes
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she
- Sexual identity: regular
- Location: Florida
Re: Me Too :(
Thanks Heather, and I did save that link you posted and will read it later.
I do wish I did more that night. Everybody had such a wonderful night and I guess I couldn't do anything as it would have ruined everybody's night. In the end it was only my night that was ruined, but I still wish I could have ruined his instead.
I do wish I did more that night. Everybody had such a wonderful night and I guess I couldn't do anything as it would have ruined everybody's night. In the end it was only my night that was ruined, but I still wish I could have ruined his instead.
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Me Too :(
That's a completely understandable wish, especially if you're feeling like that pressure to not "ruin" anybody else's night contributed to how you felt you had to react in the moment. Goodness knows that people who choose to assault others deserve to have their nights ruined.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.