Cock rings

[transfemandgay]

I was wondering if anyone here has any experience with cock rings before. Like how to use them safely and such. I know there are different kinds of cock rings but I’m mainly interested in using the silicone and metal kinds. The silicone ones I want to use for pleasure (obviously) but the metal rings I'm actually more interested in wearing as jewelry.

I love fantasizing about being a sex goddess or royalty with gold chains and jewelry on me and a decorated cock with rings and chains hanging from it and gems and a jeweled butt plug and nothing else. I wanna dress like that one day but metal cock rings make me a little (aka very) nervous. Unlike silicone rings you cant really stretch a metal cock ring so buying one and either 1) realizing its too small or 2) realizing its too small after putting it on makes me really nervous.

Does anyone know how and where to go about buying one so that I don't hurt myself and it feels good? I'm not interested in rings that go behind or stretch your balls, only rings that go at the base and behind the head. And also where I can get like basically cock jewelry and body jewelry.

[al]

Hi there transfemandgay!

While I haven't personally used one, I know a good deal about them! This article has some of the basics, but I can sum them up pretty well:
1.Start out with something adjustable/stretchy. There are lots of options available that are adjustable (a looped piece of silicone that can be adjusted in size with a placeholder) or very stretchy. They often sell them in multi-packs so that you'll get the right fit no matter what. They can be placed either just at the base of the penis or behind the balls as well to give a more intense squeeze.
2. Give yourself a (not-so)dry run. If you'll be using it for partnered sex, don't wait until The Moment to try it on!
Practice putting it on when soft, getting hard, and then taking it off to make sure that it fits comfortably and that you actually enjoy how it feels. Adding a bit of lube to it when you're first putting it on will make it a lot more comfortable. Tips for a correct fit: the penis might feel a little more stiff or look a little bigger than normal, but it definitely should NOT hurt or feel numb or look a lot darker than normal. If that happens, you should definitely take it off, because your circulation is being cut off almost entirely.
3. Keep an eye on time. Most of the literature says that you shouldn't leave a cock ring on for more than 20-30 minutes, just because the tissue needs to be able to have blood flow through it to stay healthy and work properly. So you're right - a metal ring that wasn't fitting right or didn't feel good might be harder to remove without assistance than an easily-snippable silicone one. But if you start with a few silicone ones, you may get a better sense for what size/tightness works best for you, so that you could graduate up to something made out of a less flexible material.

As for buying them, that's a little bit trickier, as most sex shops (in person and online) are 18+. Are there any older folks in your life that you trust that might be able to help you out?
Another alternative is to go DIY/low-budget: I've heard from some young folks that the ring at the bottom of a condom can have some of the same effect, and is really easy to procure/snip if needed. Just cut off the top of the condom and there you go!

[0PT1M15T1C]

As far as buying them:
Where I live they actually often have them in drug stores along with the condom, sadly had to learn that the hard way when I was a little younger and decided to ask my mom what I had picked out was, I got more than I bargained for with that conversation. Rexal has quite a few things including smaller toys like bullet vibrators (didn't know about that either until I looked into it) and I remember a large selection of these pleasure rings but that's depending on the location, some have more than others. I believe shoppers has them too, but have never really been in that isle of their store.
Another option is amazon - but I don't know how discrete that would be or if you feel comfortable with that.
As far as sex stores, I'd say do your research, and if it's not listed as an 18+ store, honestly, if you go in, just be mature. I went into one to buy my packer and not only was I able to buy it, but they gave me care tips on keeping everything clean and looking new for as long as possible. That being said I knew what I went in for, and I was asked pretty quickly, but with no judgement whatsoever and considering I am a trans guy, I probably looked about 13 (was 14) going in that store. It's entirely possible that it just came down to attitude and the fact that I was respectful throughout our entire conversation (and quite honestly nervous). It may be different with a pleasure ring though.

Hope this helped a little, there's lots of different ways to go around that, but most importantly be safe.

[transfemandgay]

I've actually bought sex toys using a prepaid visa over Amazon (yes bad idea I know) and other sites so that's not really a problem. But walking into a sex store is out of the question where I am. Theoretically I could go into a Spencer's but I'm too nervous for that.

Thanks for the info, though! I was gonna go straight into trying metal rings so I'm glad I asked and didn't hurt myself by not starting with silicone rings.

[sexednewbie]

Are there people in your life you'd trust to go shopping with? I've recruited non-judgmental friends and family for support and courage when buying sex toys, condoms, pregnancy tests, etc. I actually enjoyed those experiences and was more positive about using my purchases later.

[transfemandgay]

Well in California buying sex toys in person when underage is impossible so I can’t do that. And Planned Parenthood gives out condoms and lube packets for free. Plus my gf doesn’t mind buying pregnancy tests themself. When I buy toys I usually just get a prepaid visa, send it to my friends house, and either get it at school or have my gf pick it up.

The problem I’m having though is founding cock ring jewelry (like gold cock or glans rings with jewels on them or something decorative) which is very hard to find online and also expensive ($80+).

[Amanda F]

Hi transfemandgay!

Hmm, that does sound tricky, since silicone or other stretchy cock rings are usually pretty plain. Is there any way you could get a basic ring and dress it up? Maybe you could spray paint it gold, or add a removable piece of jewelry somehow. Or maybe there's a metal piece of jewelry that is detachable which you could dress yourself with after you're already hard, like a bracelet with a clasp? (Doing it before you get hard might result in the jewelry breaking, depending on your anatomy.)

[transfemandgay]

I think spray painting something that will be on such a sensitive area is probably not the best idea. But I have used bracelets and necklaces with hanging jewelry as cock rings before so I can use those! And getting metal cock rings and sprucing it up isn’t out of the question for me since I cosplay a lot and have a lot of experience with crafts.

I have found a lot of cock ring jewelry on Etsy though, they’re just expensive. So I can also just save up for a few of those.

I guess when treating cock rings as part of a costume I just have to get creative.

[transfemandgay]

Hey I have another question about cock rings.

Since I wanna go on HRT, I wanna use viagra to get hard when I need/want to. However I looked up that viagra lasts at least 2 hours. But if I’m not supposed to use a cock ring longer than 30 minutes, how do I wear one on HRT?

[Sam W]

I think, in that case, the safest thing would be to choose when during sex or masturbation you want to put the ring on and start the thirty minute count from there. Too, just because the medication can stay in your system for two or more hours doesn't mean you'll be erect the entire time, so you may even have an erection for less than thirty minutes.

[Gone.Sorry.]

I've been thinking on this, and I would also suggest - just like it was suggested to give yourself a "dry run" with wearing the ring - you do a "dry run" with viagra without a ring at first. You likely won't react exactly the same way every time you take a dose, but giving yourself a time or a few to get an idea of how your body reacts to viagra without a ring will give you a better idea of how to incorporate a ring while on viagra.

I have also read that it's best not to use a ring in combination with viagra - but if you do, stick with a plastic or rubber one that can be more easily cut off if need be or a velcro or snap ring that can be more easily removed.
Also, some people do swear by rings as an excellent substitute for viagra, so you might experiment to see if a ring helps you out enough without needing viagra. I also saw some people suggest a combination of penis pump then ring instead of viagra if you need a little extra help.

[transfemandgay]

Well when I’m on HRT I won’t be able to get erections at all as far as I can tell. So I wanna take viagra to give me the erection and then the metal cock ring just to look cool. I can’t really do any method without being hard first.

I feel like with a lot of lube I think I can get a metal cock ring on while hard but I’m concerned with getting it off cause wouldnt the head of my dick stop me from taking it off completely. I don’t know so maybe when I transition I’ll learn from experience.

[0PT1M15T1C]

I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea you won’t be able to get erections at all, because it’s still likely that you will be able to get an erection. The way this may happen and the way you find sex and masturbation pleasurable. Many women just find it is harder to maintain an erection as well as reach orgasm, or that the experiences around it changes. But you won’t know how this affects you until you experience it, because there is such diverse experiences when it comes to this.

I don’t think you should be forcing anything onto your penis, even with lots of lube. I can just see that cutting off circulation which trust me, you need. I don’t think you should be putting on something that you feel may get stuck in. As far as I know, I think just using a silicone or rubber ring like horriblegoose mentioned would be a much better idea.

[transfemandgay]

Well I want to use the metal rings cause I think they look cool. But like I am several years away from transitioning and starting HRT, so it’s not a problem now. If, after having experience, it is unsafe then like I won’t do it. I don’t know how HRT, viagra, and cock rings affect me individually or together. And, as Sam W said, erections with viagra may not last as long as the drug is in my system. For now, I can use cock rings normally.

[0PT1M15T1C]

Alrighty, sounds good, just mainly want to be sure you’re safe about it. I’ve done some rather stupid things (they certainly fit into “stupid” because I have no idea what I was thinking.) experimenting and it’s not something I recommend taking massive risks with. Especially not something that may cause pain or get stuck.

I would take these years before HRT to really dive in and do some research, for me that was really helpful. I’m FtM so we’re going opposite ways here, but when I was first talking to my parents and even now, actually, especially now, it helps to have done research. Maybe see if there’s trans women in your life who would possibly be open about talking through these things with you. I have a friend on estrogen and she’s changed a lot since that happened and I haven’t asked her questions (mainly because we just aren’t close enough and don’t discuss that, there’s a mutual understanding that we are trans, and that’s as far as it goes.) It’s a really interesting process and doing research can be really beneficial. Also, I kind of clued in myself that “okay there’s no way she’s not on hormones at this point”, and the next day she mentioned her endocrinologist so that clarified it. But her parents, were massively unsupportive and she’s on hormones at 14. So who knows, maybe having conversations might help.
I found this article recently and loved it, and who knows, maybe you will too. https://www.dailydot.com/irl/trans-sex-masturbation/

Anyways, that’s my other kind of piece, but I’m glad to hear you’ll be safe with it.