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Safe Sex Practices

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
fairo
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:26 am
Age: 36
Location: Pakistan

Safe Sex Practices

Unread post by fairo »

Hello,
My girlfriend and I are going to try intercourse for the fist time but we also want to make it as safe as possible to avoid any risk of pregnancy and/or STDs. So I have a couple of things to ask:
First, she has a very very accurate monthly cycle consisting of 26-27 days. we are recording it since a year and its always accurate/predictable. So in this context, is there any safe window to try the intercourse, for example, 3 to 4 days before her periods start. Secondly, we are going to use condom and pull out method. How effective can it be?
Because we cant use the pill so we were thinking about these 3 methods:
1. Safe window (given that the periods are very accurate)
2. Condoms
3. Pull Out

Please guide us in terms of effectiveness and also share the information about the safe window of time in case of regular and accurate periods every month.

Thanks
Ruby S
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 49
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 3:27 pm
Age: 25
Awesomeness Quotient: I make a mean grilled cheese.
Primary language: English + ASL.
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer!
Location: Bellingham, Washington

Re: Safe Sex Practices

Unread post by Ruby S »

Hi, Fairo! Thanks for this question! I'm going to be using a few different articles for this answer:

Birth Control Bingo!
Condoms
Fertility Awareness (FAM)
Withdrawal
The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method

Why don't you start by checking out those articles, and if you have further questions come back and let us know? They have all the effectiveness rates and such on there, along with other details!
fairo
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:26 am
Age: 36
Location: Pakistan

Re: Safe Sex Practices

Unread post by fairo »

Hi Rubyted,
Thanks for these informative articles.
So, now I would only focus on Fertility Awareness. I think its impossible to record everything about your body perfectly by yourself unless some instrument/equipment is involved.
Can you please guide me a little bit about how ovulation works in a female body? Does it occur approximately in the middle of the cycle (e.g; somewhere between 10 - 20 days given the cycle is 26-27 days)? or it can happen anytime like even three days before or a day before a periods start. (even for someone with a very regular cycle consisting 26-27 days).?

Thanks
Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: Safe Sex Practices

Unread post by Mo »

The only way for an individual to know when they might be ovulating is to chart their cycles with additional information like keeping track of basal temperature, cervical mucus, etc. for month and make estimates about when they will likely be ovulating based on that. Knowing her cycle length is a good start, but she'd have to take a lot more data to be able to make any sort of estimate about when ovulation might be happening.
It isn't something we recommend younger people rely on; as the Fertility Awareness Ruby linked you above states,
We discourage our younger users from trying to use fertility awareness as a sole method of birth control. In order for these methods to even have a chance of working a person must have regular cycles which have been regular for some time - ideally, at least a few years -- as well as the ability to chart and record fertility signals every single day, and a partner who is deeply committed to doing their part to practice the method properly. It's normal for it to take up to five years for fertility and menstrual cycles to regulate, so even for Scarleteen users who began menstruating on the early side, it's not likely to be anything anyone can reliably use as a sole method until they're at least in their later teens, if not their twenties. Too, to use FAM effectively as a method of birth control, a person usually needs to chart daily for at least six months before using it, a waiting period which young adults who want to become sexually active may not find practical or realistic.
As that article notes as well, if it is something you and your partner want to try, it's best to consult with an in-depth book, coach, etc. before attempting it.
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