Anxiety and fears

[Sam W]

Those are all super common fears for folks who grow up with a lot of restrictive or shameful messages around sex. In fact, we even have a piece approaching pregnancy fear from that angle: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... y_and_fear.

With your therapist, if you feel weird saying it out loud, you can write it down and hand it to her to read. Or, if you want to bring it up verbally, it might help to be straightforward about it. So, you know you're not pregnant, you know you didn't have a risk, but you can't get rid of the anxiety. Too, remember that therapists are trained not to judge their clients; people tell them all sorts of things, and their job is to listen and be understanding. So whatever you say is unlikely to shock your therapist or make her think you're "crazy."

[Anonymous786]

Hiya Sam thank you for that article I gave it a read and it’s nice to know there’s other people out there going through the same thing if not similar I don’t feel so alone ! I felt so crazy for feeling like this but turns out a lot of people feel this way.
Referring to the situation with my therapist it would be hard to write it down and give to her because we have zoom sessions now until covid dies down so either I might email it or text or just talk about it on my next session

[Mo]

A lot of other people definitely do feel the same way you do, or have similar fears about pregnancy! I'm glad that knowing you aren't alone in this is at least a little helpful.
Sending your therapist a text or email before your session could be helpful. I've done that before when I knew I wanted to talk about something during a session but wasn't sure how to bring it up in the moment. I hope you're able to find a way to discuss this that works for you.

[Anonymous786]

Yes it defo does help a lot has made me feel better so thank you and thank
You for all your help to all the staff/volunteers replying to my posts really appreciate it
Yes I have been thinking of doing that when I see her next week I’ll drop her a text or email it will make me feel better
Hopefully after all this I will be able to calm myself down even more
Thanks again for all your guys help really appreciate it

[Sam W]

You're welcome!

[Siân]

For folks who have a religious upbringing and little sex education like you, I often think of anxiety as giving guilty feelings a voice, like trying to rationalise feelings of shame by attaching them to real-world "consequences" even where you haven't done anything to create a pregnancy risk. Have you read our Impurity Culture series? We have one on exactly what you're talking about: Impurity Culture: Pregnancy and Fear. What do you think?

It sounds like you also have strong feelings that sex before marriage isn't a thing that's okay to do - is that right?

For bringing it up with your therapist, how about you think up one short sentence that summarises what you've been feeling and practice it so that you can tell her when you need to? Or even write it down on a piece of paper and hand it to her at the start of the session. Maybe something like "I am having a lot of pregnancy fears at the minute, even though I know I can't be pregnant, can you help?".

[Anonymous786]

Hi Sian
Thanks for replying again, I have indeed read that article I believe one of the volunteers already posted it on here but thank you again it did give me an wider picture on the situation and made me feel not alone and feel like I’m the only one going through this,
And yes it’s what I have been taught and a part of my religion not to have sex before marriage, hence the feeling of feeling guilty even going near a guy.
Thank you on the advice on how to speak to my therapist, I have already told her about it and we are going to speak about it on my next session