Masturbation

[trentboi123]

I'm a 13 year old boy and I masturbate 2-4 times a day. Is this normal and is it safe to do so. But I am also really mature and all my friends are 14 but I don't want to ask them about masturbation as it might ruin the friendship.
Trent

[Alexa]

Hey trentboi123,

Masturbating multiple times a day is totally normal for someone your age. You're getting to know your body! We have a great article called Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation that has some advice on whether you're masturbating too often:

Generally, it’s a pretty simple formula: Is masturbation keeping you from doing other things you enjoy, like being with friends or partners, participating in sports, hobbies, goals, or interests? Is it interfering with your responsibilities (schoolwork, family duties, chores, or a job)? Is it infringing upon your health (keeping you up nights, keeping you from eating properly), causing any sort of injury (such as sore, swollen, raw, blistered, or chafed skin), or creating emotional conflict or distress for you? If it’s doing any of those things, then it’s probably time to cut back or ask for help (a mental healthcare provider can help, or you can just talk to anyone you trust and respect with something sensitive and loaded like this). If it’s not, and it feels good to you, don’t sweat it. There's no "right" amount of masturbation just like there's no "right" amount of sex with partners: it's all about what just feels and is right for you.

Want to give that article a read and let us know whether it's helpful/you have other questions or thoughts?

[trentboi123]

Thanks
Is it also a bad thing that I try and do things a bit gay with my friend and try to bring up topics about masturbation and sex?

[Sam W]

Hi trentboi123,

There's nothing automatically wrong with those things; experimenting with a friend is fine, as is talking about sex or masturbation. The important part is whether your friend feels comfortable with those things and wants them to be happening. Have you and your friend ever talked about what you're trying to do? When you bring up those topics, how does he react?

[trentboi123]

I think I do these things because I am curious about what there dicks are like and too know if mine is bigger or smaller then theres and for things like that and pubes and stuff but Idk. When we talk about theses things we kind of just laugh at it and stuff a bit awkwardly and lock eyes.

[Heather]

It's pretty tricky in these situations to sort out what's about homoeroticism and what isn't, but it's also really common for there to be some casual homoeroticism even among straight male peers in the teen years. Either way, there's nothing wrong with it, because there's nothing wrong with any orientation nor any kind of consensual sexual curiosity, you know?

In any situation like this, so long as you feel like you and anyone else involved would feel easily able to set a boundary or put a stop to anything that *is* making any of you uncomfortable, and so long as y'all feel safe when it comes to things like any information shared staying private, this should be okay.

How do *you* feel about it? Do you feel okay about it?

[trentboi123]

Im ok with it and we have one hot teacher at my school and we talk about her a-lot but not normally guys but like he has never really talked anything about this really its always me bringing it up.

[Sam W]

In that case, like Heather said you'll want to be keep an eye out for signs he's feeling uncomfortable (changing the subject really quickly, awkward body language or laughter, things like that). And if you aren't sure, you can ask him if he's cool with talking about this stuff or if he'd feel more comfortable talking about something else.

[trentboi123]

ok, he brings up alot of stuff about girls and having sex with other girls but its always me talking about the boy stuff and i do also think hes attractive and we always have our tops off at sleepovers and one time we slept in a single bed together but like not in a sexual way

[Mo]

You could ask him, at some point, if he's all right talking about the types of things you're bringing up when you're spending time together. Does that sound like something you'd be up for doing?