Something missing?

[Susan]

Hi,

I'm hoping to get some advice with this problem/feeling I've been having. I'm 14 female with a boyfriend who lives two hours away. I really like this guy, and the feeling is mutual, but sometimes it feels like something is missing. We can't go and see each other because of the lockdown, but I miss him, which is kinda weird since I talk to him every day. I don't know whether others are feeling this way, but if there is, let me know what you did to get rid of the horrible feeling.

[Sofi]

Hi Susan,
Long distance relationships can be hard, especially during a pandemic, so it's understandable you feel something is missing since you can't see him. It's not the same being able to talk to them every day. Just know you're not alone in this and video calls where you do activities "together", like watch a movie or even fall asleep together on the phone, can make you feel closer and grow your intimacy. Do you feel there's something deeper going on that's giving you this feeling?

[Susan]

Hi,
thanks for the quick reply! I don't know if it's just the winter break when he was busy and we couldn't talk as much, or it's the loneliness of my pandemic Christmas, but it's been hard these past two weeks or so.

[Susan]

I forgot to mention that my parents don’t approve of dating at this age, so there’s a lot of things we can’t do together. Also, we've never met in person, as we first met during online classes. I don’t know if this might affect any advice, but if it does, please help.

[Alexa]

Hi Susan,

I just want to reiterate that it's not weird at all to be feeling loneliness under these circumstances, despite talking to him every day. Talking to folks while knowing that you can't share physical space can be a very lonely feeling, indeed.

I agree with Sofi that finding distanced "activities" -- like watching something together, playing a game online, or doing a craft together on video chat can be helpful for making you feel more togetherness. I would also just say that, unfortunately, this feeling is normal and makes sense under the circumstances, so some of what you're going to have to do is just accept & process those feelings of distance. It's okay to feel sad or unhappy about a crappy circumstance.