Am I cumming or peeing?

[kaisedinuma]

Soo recently Ive had a vibrator and I've used it like 30 mins ago it didn't feel good nor bad I just didn't feel anythin but I certainly felt like i was wet but idk when I got up it has a scent of pee idk if I actually peed or if I squirted what am I supposed to do? And it's my first time using a vibrator so anyone can help me?

[Sam W]

Hi kaisedinuma,

This article offers a really good overview of what squirting is and what it generally involves: Squirt: On Ejaculation. I do want to point out that while the ejaculate produced isn't urine, it does come through the urethra, which means there can be traces of urine in it (which might explain the smell).

In terms of what to do, that depends on what parts of this are worrying you. Are you worried it will happen again? About dealing with the clean-up? Something else?

[kaisedinuma]

im not actually that worried but when it comes to having sex with my partner im worried if he will think if its pee because of the smell , technically i am worried it will happen again as it didnt feel much pleasurable but i did like it . but i thought that it should be much more pleasurable , the clean up was pretty easy and it didnt come out like shooting it just came slowly and i could hold it also, so im like probably doubting if its actually pee

[Siân]

I think a lot of people worry that their bodies are going to do something "wrong" when they're having sex, but really sex is often a sweaty, lubey, messy experience - in a good way! - involving a lot of bodily fluids and different smells. I think when we and our partners accept that it makes for better sexual experiences. So, you know that it is normal and not a big deal, being able to present it that way to a partner can make it all feel more relaxed - does that make sense?

Also, you've mentioned in both of your posts that your experience with the vibrator wasn't especially pleasurable. Is pleasure something you'd like to talk about more?

[kaisedinuma]

idk what i should talk abt more , i mean by not pleasurable as it does feel good but not as good as i thought it would and even while fingering i dont feel much i mean i can feel my finger inside but i dont feel pleasurable as ppl say it reallyyyy feel good. im afraid one day ill also not be able to feel pleasure from penetrative sex so im trying to find a way to make myself know that ill also be able to feel the pleasure of having sex

[Sam W]

Thank you for explaining that! So, sometimes people build up what masturbation or sex feels like in a way that just isn't realistic. Yes, sometimes those things can feel really, really good. But they can also feel underwhelming, or just plain bad. And how they feel varies not only from person to person, but for an individual person throughout their life. It sounds like you can and do feel pleasure from some kinds of masturbation, so there's nothing to indicate that partnered sex wouldn't be something you could enjoy.

Too, lots of people don't feel a ton pleasure inserting their fingers into their vaginal canal, since as a whole it's not as sensitive as some other parts of the genitals (you can read more about that here: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body
With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body.

When you're masturbating, are you aroused? And is your brain engaged in what's going on, or is it more that your body is trying to masturbate while you're brain is focused on other things?

[kaisedinuma]

well to say abt like aroused , yes i am i feel realllyyyy wet my brain isnt engaged with something else its just that id be tooo focused on like feeling the pleausree and which ik many ppl say to like not focus on cumming or anything i do tell myself not to think abt that but then ill bee too engaged in like thinking dont thin dont think if that makes any sense? im horny most of the times but i just badly wanna know how good it feels to actually cum and know the feeling many ppl are talkin abt

[Sam W]

What if, the next few times you try masturbating, you choose a fantasy to focus on? That might keep your brain from getting stuck in a loop where it's telling itself not to think about certain things and thus taking away from the enjoyment of the moment.

[kaisedinuma]

okay that will work, but i still dont get what does me thinking and cumming have to do with eachother plus i have one more thing to add on yesterday ive inserted a 5 inch long marker it wasnt that thick it was medium and it felt a bittt good but the thing is my stomach hurted after like 5 mins idk at at certain point i was abt to cum but i didnt

[Sam W]

The reason we're talking so much about your brain and thoughts is that your brain is actually your biggest sexual organ; if it's not engaged during masturbation, masturbation probably won't feel that great. You can read more about that here: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body.

Since it sounds like you're trying to make sex toys from things you have at home, I'm going to give you this article. It covers what kinds of items you can use and what you need to do in order to experiment safely: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

[kaisedinuma]

ive read both the articles actually , i wanted to ask one more thing is putting marker in vagina gonna make it loose?

[Sam W]

Nope! The reason for that is that vagina (or, more accurately, the vaginal canal) cannot become "loose" in the way people think. It's a muscle, so when we put something inside of it, it constricts to hold what is inside of it. When we remove whatever that is, within a few hours at most, it'll go right back to the state it was in before that something was inside. When someone is aroused, the cervix raises and the vaginal canal tents to accommodate something being inserted, but like I said, that change isn't permanent.

[kaisedinuma]

okay so i have one more question , ik its kinda weird but i did have sex with a girl and it felt good like reallllyyyyy gooodd if i can find pleasure while having sex with a girl then an i find pleasure when i have sex with a guy? or is it just like one sidded thing if i can find pleasure with having sex with girls then i wont find pleausre with guys?

[Siân]

That's mostly down to you and your sexuality! If you are attracted to someone, feel good around them and excited to have sex with them, you're more likely to enjoy that sex. If you're having sex with someone because you feel like you have to or it's something you "should" want, then the chances are it's not going to make you feel good - either in the moment or long term.

When you think about who you're attracted to, do you notice yourself having crushes on guys? Just girls? Both?

[kaisedinuma]

nop, i dont have crushes on girls or do think anything abt girls sexually im more intrested in guys but ones i just had sex with one girl so i was pretty horny and it did feel good i even almost had sex with a guy but we dont go too far like inserting and all but when i was on top of him it felt good , i have no things for girls i can make sure abt that ive made myself clear abt that

[Sam W]

It sounds like, then, you do experience desire and pleasure when doing sexual things. So, that suggests that you'll be able to experience those things with future partners.

Can I ask why you were sexual with a girl if you don't feel attraction to women? Is it something you actively wanted to do?

[kaisedinuma]

um no it was like a long ago, and it went really fast i didnt have to time to think what i was doing and what i was gonna do it happened reallly fastt so i let it slide i mean having sex with a girls isnt something to be ashamed of it happened reallly fast and my mind couldnt process to say i dont wanna so just went with the flow, if that makes any sense to you?

[Mo]

Having sex with another girl definitely isn't something to be ashamed of, but it sounds like you didn't actually want to have sex but weren't given the space or opportunity to say no or slow things down, and if that's the case, it wasn't okay for someone else to put you in that position.

[kaisedinuma]

yaa ikk but that is okay for me i just needto know if i will be able to find pleasure while having sex with a guy and not with a girl

[Sam W]

Hi kaisedinuma,

We've already answered that to the best of our abilities in this thread, since there's no way for us to guarantee how someone will feel in a given sexual situation. Is there anything else we can help you with or that you want to talk about?