Me and the person I'm dating are planning to have sex for the first time in a few weeks, when we are able to meet up. As part of this we will be sharing sex toys. I have heard that if you share sex toys you should use condoms. I have 2 questions about that:
1. I assume the answer to this is definitely yes but just thought I'd check. We both got tested for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea last month and all results were negative. We do both have sex with other people, but not any new people since the tests. Do we still need to / should we still use condoms for sharing sex toys? I assume yes but thought I'd check.
2. I have heard that silicone-based lube can damage silicone sex toys because the silicone in both sort of bond with each other. Some stuff I've read says this isn't really true, but some stuff says it definitely is. So I'm not sure what to think. My problem is that I have looked at basically all of the types of condoms I can find to buy, and all of them have (small amounts?) of silicone-based lube in/on them. Will it damage our toys? If yes, do you know a brand/type of condom that don't have silicone-based lube please?
My other question is more general, just about the meeting up with them. We met on a dating app a few months ago, done a lot of Skype and stuff but the few weeks from now when we meet up for sex, will be the first time we meet in person and the first time we have sex with each other. So:
3. My question is just sort of...we've kind of run through the stuff we can think of to make the meetup good and safe etc, but I'm just wondering if there's anything we haven't thought of, that you would advise when meeting someone, in person for the first time, for sex?
The stuff we've already thought of/done is the following.
- - We are both fully vaccinated and it's legal/ok (COVID-wise) to meet in this way where we live. We've discussed what covid safety measures we want to take to both feel safe and comfortable.
- As I mentioned we both tested negative for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea last month. Those are the only tests that are offered free locally.
- As we've not met in person before, we've both told someone about the meetup, where we're going etc so someone knows where we are and when we're meeting in case there is a problem.
- We've talked, a lot, about sexual yeses and nos, potential issues, what we're into and what we're not, what we might do and what we're definitely not gonna do (sexually), stuff we might do later but that is off the table for our first time, general safer sex concerns (condoms, both got tested, no risk of pregnancy as we're both AFAB), and yea just generally our expectations and wishes and so on.
- We've both been very clear with each other that although we're meeting up intending to have sex, if one or both of us isn't in the mood / doesn't want to at the time, we'll just hang out socially, neither of us will pressure the other for sex.
- We feel very comfortable with each other and feel we're on the same page about what we're doing / intending to do and both feel safe on all these points (covid, safer sex, sexual boundaries, etc etc).