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Masturbation...

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
ez.as.pie
not a newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Jun 27, 2021 3:39 pm
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm smart?
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/he/zie/she (any)
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: Tennessee

Masturbation...

Unread post by ez.as.pie »

So, I've been masturbating since I was a kid. I've always done it in the same way, by rubbing my legs together and stuff, and I've always been able to orgasm (which tbh I feel pretty lucky about that).

But I've been trying to get into other kinds of masturbation as opposed to my normal kinda thing. But fingering myself kinda hurts and I CANT FIND MY CLIT.... like DO I EVEN HAVE ONE??? I can't find it and it's super frustrating. And I'm fine with how I masturbate I guess, but I want to try new things.

So I guess, here are my questions:

What are some ways that masturbate that aren't fingering?
Why does all my arousal just go out the window the second I try to finger myself.
WHERE THE F*CK IS MY CLIT?? Is it possible that I straight up don't have one??
Also, when I do manage to finger myself, any pleasure I get from it almost feels like I'm going to pee. Is that normal??
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Masturbation...

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi ez.as.pie,

In terms of different ways to masturbate and general advice on how to help it feel good, this article is a good starting place: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation. It may very well be that inserting your fingers isn't a form of masturbation you enjoy (plenty of people find they prefer external stimulation only). But, if you want to keep exploring it, making sure that you have lots of lube on hand and are really turned on before you try it.

When it comes to finding your clit, can you give me a sense of what you've tried so far? For instance, have you used a mirror or diagram to help guide you?

With that feeling like you might pee, do any of the reasons listed here sound like they apply? https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... _a_problem
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
ez.as.pie
not a newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Jun 27, 2021 3:39 pm
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm smart?
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/he/zie/she (any)
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: Tennessee

Re: Masturbation...

Unread post by ez.as.pie »

I spent a while yesterday reading articles, so I think found the solutions to my problems. Thanks for replying though!!
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