Hot girl summer???

[Hel]

Okay, so I’m not a girl. I’m genderfluid. I’m not straight. I’m pansexual. I’m like the most quirky non-conforming person. But I want a hot girl summer! A glow up, as they say. I want a chance at being even hotter and improving myself, as well as having the (short, not serious) summer camp romance I’ve always wanted.

How does one accomplish this??? How do I have my own “glow up” and focus on myself and get to have a summer romance?

I’m so done with school and I can’t wait to travel again and go to camp now that covid is better in my country. I’m anxious to get this summer started! (Even though it will be busy and I’ll also have school work - luckily it won’t be too much.)

Also I just got out of a break up - I’ve heard that rebounds are actually good because they allow you to be more confident in dating. Is that true? I think summer camp is the perfect time for a rebound to help me “bounce back” from my breakup, while allowing me to mainly focus on myself. Any thoughts on that?

[Urna]

Hey Hel!

Honestly I love the idea of hot girl summer, and I agree that it's a great aesthetic to aspire to once school's out! As long as you don't treat it as more than an aesthetic, you're in for a good, fulfilling time.

I'd say that a glow-up would target your physical, emotional, and intellectual well-being. So maybe you could work on your fitness, have fun with sports (do you play any sports?), eat food that you like, go places (esp. dancing, shopping, picnicking, swimming, makeovers, all that fun stuff!) watch great movies and read cool books, etc. You've had a pretty rough few months, and so it's great that you're looking forward to a summer of fun and self-care. It would also be great to make new friends at camp, or be reunited with old ones.

As for a short and sweet summer romance: while it's completely dependent on your emotional state at the time and the people you meet, I will say that the rebound advice you received seems a bit suspicious, especially when the breakup has been as distressing as you said it was in your previous posts. Quoting from an article we have on here:-

Give yourself time to be single after a relationship. Sure, now and then we rebound, or a new relationship just happens. Sometimes, a new relationship may even be why the old one ended. But most of us need time to grieve and reflect after a breakup, even just to remember and reclaim who we are all by ourselves, and as ourselves, not as someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. If we don’t have time to feel our feelings, as well as time to learn the lessons of our last relationships and the breakup, our next one might not be any better than the last. Too, after a breakup, we so often feel so lonely, having been used to having a partner, that relationship choices made hot on the heels of a breakup don’t tend to be our best. When we're feeling desperate to get validated, or to be with anyone so we don't have to be alone, we'll usually wind up with people who are way less than awesome.

Not all of that advice is relevant to you: you haven't said that you're feeling lonely, and you're also not looking to be in a serious relationship. So like I said, context is key. Say the person you decide to have this summer fling with is OK with being a rebound, and say you're not hinging your hot girl summer on having a romantic and sexual time (to my understanding, "hot girl summer" is mostly divorced from that genre of human activity, it's more "me and the girls and the allure we hold", which I think is super healthy, because for the rest of the year, everyone is 24/7 shoving romance and sex down your throat). If that's the case throughout, it's entirely possible that the summer fling ends up being very healthy, very sexy, and very fun! Does that make sense?

[Hel]

Thanks for all the advice! Totally makes sense.

I’m just bummed Covid is still affecting my life so much. I used to be so introverted but finally I want to meet people, go dancing, go to parties, etc…. and I can’t because of restrictions! Argh. How can I find opportunities to meet people despite this?

[Sofi]

Trust me, I feel you and relate! Covid has affected all our lives for way longer than we wanted or expected it to, so it's okay to be frustrated about it. Keep in mind your safety and the safety of those around you is always most important and putting it first the responsible thing to do. That being said, there are ways to socialize and meet people with minimal risk. There are daytime outdoor parties and events going on in most places, but you might need to ask around about it and look for them on social media pages.
Looking at Austria's current restrictions, it seems like restaurants, shops, museums, and culture and leisure facilities are open. It may sound silly to go to a museum or leisure facility for the purpose you're searching, because it's not a party of course, but look at it as opportunities to meet people who you can hang out with safely and might even know of some outdoor parties going on this summer. Just strike up conversations with people your age and go from there!