My confusion about the penis

[OtherAngel]

I am at a loss on how this works and I am hoping that I can get an answer on this. When a girl gives a blowjob, sometimes the girl will be on her knees and the guy will be standing up. I watch porn on occasion, and I can see that the man's penis goes down the throat but what I don't understand is how does the penis curve in order to do that? How does the penis bend when it is erect? Is the penis not completely hard when it does this?
I have tried this position a few times and I have failed each time. Is it me that's goofing up or is it the guy that I am with?

[montheline]

Both of you are probably goofing up, but don't let that discourage you.

What you're referring to is a specific type of blowjob called "deepthroating." It's an advanced skill especially if you're new to giving oral. I'll give a few tips to start out with below.

The penis bends but only a very little when it's erect. The angle of the penis in relation to the man's body can change, and it takes experience for the man to adjust to the best angle. When you watch deepthroating in porn usually the focus is on the woman's throat widening as it accommodates the penis.

Deepthroating can happen in a number of positions, but the easiest is for you to be laying on a bed face up with your head hanging off the side of the bed. That aligns your throat the best for his penis to enter.

But BY FAR the first thing to practice is mastering your gag reflex. You have to progressively desensitize it so you don't choke or gag when swallowing his penis. Try starting with a pencil and seeing how far down your throat you can swallow it without gagging. Then move up to larger objects like a small banana (just be sure to put a condom on it so the end can't scratch your throat). But practice with a dildo if you can -- that's the closest to the real thing.

It takes time to learn, but it's extremely worth it!

I hope this helps. I'd post a few instructional links but I'm not sure that's allowed. Feel free to message me though!

[Siân]

Hi OtherAngel,

The key thing to take away here is that porn isn't a great measure of how sex usually happens in real life. For a lot of people a lot of the time, if they're giving oral on a penis they won't have anything like the whole thing in their mouth. Just like that position of one person standing and the other kneeling isn't going to be everyone's go-to. Does that make sense?

You might like to read a bit more here: Making Sense of Sexual Media

When you say you've tried, is that because it's something you want to do, or because you feel like that's the "right" way to do it?

[OtherAngel]

Thanks Montheline for the info. And I have tried the banana a couple times, but never with a condom. Looks like I need to get some flavored condoms. And I don't see how I PM you on here, but you can PM me if you want.

And Sian it's something that I sometimes enjoy doing, but I'm just not that good at it yet. But I will stop judging myself on all those professional porn stars

[Sam W]

Hi OtherAngel,

If it's something you like doing, then you can certainly continue experimenting with it. Just be sure you're paying attention to your body and not forcing it to do anything uncomfortable or painful. Too, it can help to remember that being "good" at sex is far less about mastering on particular action and more about communicating with your partner about what you each do (and do not) enjoy.

(FYI, we don't allow PMs between users).

[OtherAngel]

Thanks Sam
its something that I do consider fun. I also did get some bananas and flavored condoms for experimenting.

[Carly]

Hey OtherAngel! Make sure to get active consent from your partner before deepthroating (or any sexual activity)! It's important to remember that not everyone likes or is comfortable with the same things; building your confidence in communicating your sexual needs and desires is just as important as technical skill.

These might be helpful for you:
Quickies: Consent Basics
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner