how can I find other teens who want to try BDSM?

[utgard]

hi, so I'm a 15 yr old virgin, and I don't have a partner, but I really want to try BDSM and have been wanting to for a while, and I've also been doing as much research on it as I can.

I was gonna wait until I'm an adult, but then I realised I probably could do it as a teen? But I have no idea how to find other teens who wanna try it, because all the apps like that are only for adults.

Plus I'm a lesbian and definitely don't wanna do it with a man, so that probably makes it harder.

So yeah, does anyone have any ideas for what I could do?

[Sam W]

Hi utgard,

Since the dating communities that center on BDSM are currently off-limits, it may help to look for a partner more generally; in other words, you may have to date around some! That gives you chances to meet people your age who you're interested in and attracted to who might be open to exploring BDSM with you. When you think about that suggestion, does it feel doable to you?

Too, while being lesbian can present unique dating challenges, plenty of women are interested in BDSM, so that may not end up being a barrier to finding the partner you're hoping to find.

[Tbh Idk]

To be honest I feel you I am also young and into bdsm and I don't know what to do about it I'm also bisexual but I just feel like people wont accept me bc of it and I feel like if I tell someone I'm with that I'm into that they will look at me differently

[Elise]

Hi there Tbh Idk, and welcome to Scarleteen. Sorry to hear that you are feeling stress about judgement at the moment. With something like sexual preferences around how an individual likes to do or dislikes (whether that's something labelled as kink, or as simple where someone enjoys being touched or kissed), that is an intimate subject that is generally shared with partners where there will exist a level of trust between the two to listen, and keep private things in confidence to each other. I am going to drop a few articles about this, and sexual communication here to give you a bit more info about this.

• Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist
• Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
  
• Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots
• I want more kink, but I don't know how to ask a partner for it.

Once you've had a read of the above, please feel free to share any questions, thoughts or reflections that come to mind if you feel comfortable doing so.

[StarSystem42]

I was wondering the same thing. I am also a 15yr old interested in dating/bdsm. I am non binary but look pretty fem.

[Carly]

Hey StarSystem42 -- I'm going to reiterate some of the advice Sam initially gave utgard, the original thread poster. You're definitely in a complicated position because dating communities that center on BDSM are currently not an option for you legally. It might be helpful to consider dating and finding partners in a more general sense first, and the communicating your desires to explore BDSM with them when you're talking about sexual activity. If you want to talk about this more with us, create your own thread and we can address your situation more specifically.