Can’t masturbate, but boyfriend pleasures me?

[mantee]

Hi, I’m 20 and just starting to have more intimate experiences. i’ve gotten turned on before from seeing pornographic media or just by daydreaming a bit too long, but have never been able to pleasure myself. touching by any means feels as if i’m touching any other part of my body and not in any way pleasurable. the thing is, this year, i was fingered for the first time and it was very pleasurable although i never reached orgasm.
i am non-binary and have some issues with dysphoria and disassociating/depersonalization so i’m thinking it’s kind of a psychological thing or masturbating just isn’t for me. idk

[Sofi]

Hi mantee, welcome to the boards!
What you're describing is valid and normal. Dysphoria can definitely create a mental block with masturbation, so that might be what's going on, maybe. It's also normal for it to take a while to get comfortable and enjoy masturbation, even if you enjoy being fingered. The most important part of enjoying masturbating is to be relaxed and comfortable, and not feel any pressure to do it or to enjoy it/orgasm from it. Do you feel like you actually want to do it, or feel like you *need* to or *should*?