how to be calmer in friendships?

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iloveeveryone
not a newbie
Posts: 53
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2021 12:27 am
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: being "emotional"
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Sexual identity: heterosexual
Location: India

how to be calmer in friendships?

Unread post by iloveeveryone »

Hi! Thank you!
So I've just made a new friend online from a class we both have, and I don't get many texts daily overall so I get really excited to talk when I get one from him (him being a boy does have something to do with it because that's who I'm mainly attracted to :shock: :( :roll: )

I know it can only end bad for me if anything I perceive as a bad text could make me really sad, how do I calm down and just talk to him normally and not become so invested in all my friend relationships?
<3 <3 <3
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: how to be calmer in friendships?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi iloveeveryone,

Hooray for finding a new friend! I think it's helpful that you already know you can really invested in friendships really quickly, because that makes it easier to spot when you're falling into that habit.

One thing that can be really helpful, with friendships and other relationships, is to not try to parse if there's some subtext or secret meaning to a message, because that sort of thing can lead you to react to things that may not even be going on. That's especially true with newer relationships, because you're still getting to know the other person's communication style. So, how about you make an agreement with yourself that you'll take texts at face value and, if you have questions or aren't sure how you're friend is feeling about something, just asking them?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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iloveeveryone
not a newbie
Posts: 53
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2021 12:27 am
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: being "emotional"
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: heterosexual
Location: India

Re: how to be calmer in friendships?

Unread post by iloveeveryone »

Oh! Yes, thank you! I will do that!
<3 <3 <3
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: how to be calmer in friendships?

Unread post by Sam W »

You're very welcome!
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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